We've got a theory that can no longer be ignored.
Every time we see a sweet R&B starlet hook up with a rough and rowdy rapper for a Top 40 banger, we can't help imagining all the hot and sweaty sex they must've had while recording.
We used to think it was just us being disgusting. But recent events have forced us to believe that the sex is in the contracts. Just look at these famous collabs and try to deny it. Being famous is just one giant orgy.
Rihanna Feeds Chris Brown a Lil' "Birthday Cake"
Everyone knows about the torrid love-affair between Ri-Ri and Brownie beaubeau. Not even a highly publicized busted lip and shiner can ruin this sexual chemistry. Just listen to these freaks. You know they did everything they sing about on this song between takes. We'd even go so far as to say Brown was tasting that icing while Rihanna was in the booth.
Drake and Rihanna "Take Care" of Each Other When Brown Isn't 'Round
Rihanna is obviously YMCMB's favorite thang. At first, we thought Drake just put her on the hook for record sales. But then Drizzy and Breezy got in a brawl over her, and we found out for sure they were taking care of each other when Brownie wasn't looking. There's no hiding that this chick gets 'round. Just look at the Billboard charts.
Nicki Minaj Totally Gave Big Sean That "A$$"
Speaking of girls who get down with YMCMB, Minaj is another big-time lady baller. She doesn't event try to hide it. You can hear her plain as day ask Sean how big his dick is on this track. And he's all "If she look good, she pay me in sex." But we give it up to the girl ... She lays down that fat ass and a few rhymes, and totally takes over the track. When was the last time you heard the non-Minaj version of this song on the radio? Exactly.
50 Cent and Lil Kim Repeatedly Hit the Sheets with "Magic Stick"
Before Nicki Minaj stole her shebang, Lil Kim was notorious for sleeping with her male counterparts, B.I.G. time. And once you get hit with seven bullets like Fiddy, you'll basically have sex with anything, because you understand that life doesn't last forever. Plus, this whole song is about how they didn't do it just once, but twice. Or maybe nine times.
Ja Rule and J. Lo Can't Go On Without Each Other on "I'm Real"
So, since YMCMB have so well proven our point, let's take it back and check out some old tracks. Like this hit from Ja Rule and J. Lo. Around the time P. Diddy effed up with dat ass, Ja showed up to scoop it. They're on the track talking shit about Puff and looking to one another for comfort. Sure, it could just be a nice way to give a song a boost on the charts. But compare this fuck fest with the lyrics from that same year's "Ain't It Funny." As Ja Rule quips, "It must be the ass/That got me like damn." Yep, done deal.
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ODB and Mariah Carey Live Out Your Nasty Sexual "Fantasy"
This is definitely the weirdest pairing we can imagine, but it's not that hard to understand. Carey is clearly insane and undiscerning, and the late ODB fathered something like 17 children out of wedlock. When the Dirty Bastard sings that he and Mariah "go back like babies and pacifiers," he's talking about stuffing mouths. Plus, the beat for this song comes from the Tom Tom Club's hit "Boyfriend." Sounds like a hint to us.