Six New Year's 2014 Resolutions for Miami's Club Scene

Six New Year's 2014 Resolutions for Miami's Club Scene
Photo by Yesenia Hernandez

Do you hear that? It's the sound of another year dissolving into yesterday. All your words, thoughts and actions of 2013 have been locked into place. We hope your regrets are few and your memories fond. Let's have one more moment of silence for the past.

Alright! Now, let's look forward and promise ourselves something. Miami, this year will be better! Say it with me now. This. Year. Will. Be. Better.

We here at Crossfade have compiled some suggestions toward that goal. Feel free to tell us what assholes we are in the comment section. Cheers!

See also: Miami's Six Most Expensive New Year's Eve 2014 Parties

Six New Year's 2014 Resolutions for Miami's Club Scene
Photo by Liliana Mora

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Stop Taking Selfies on the Dance Floor

Alright y'all. The shit has gone on long enough. New rule: if you take three pictures, and you don't like the way they look, too bad so sad. We suggest a three strike rule with pics from now on, because seriously, if we see another gaggle of drunk bitches taking pic after pic on the middle of the dance floor, we're going to start physically assaulting you cunts. News flash: no one cares about your pictures at the club, except for creeps you don't even want looking at your pictures anyway. Stop the madness, and turn your flash off for christ's sake.

Six New Year's 2014 Resolutions for Miami's Club Scene
Photo by: George Martinez

Consider Clothes

We've already gotten some heat for suggesting this, but we're going to try again anyway. Ladies, maybe you want to like, I don't know, get dressed before your leave the house for a party? We know it's hot in Miami, but that doesn't mean you have to be a trashy dunce. We understand that festivals are probably beyond saving, but do your butt cheeks have to come out to play every time you go to a party? Also, no good relationship started with attention from nipple pasties - and no good hook-ups, either. If you're under 18, you might want to reconsider the path your life is taking.



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