Well, would you look at that? It's already Hump Day.
That means that in a few short days we'll be shredding our papers, cutting our phone lines, and getting blasted for the weekend.
In the meantime, here are the six best bashes to crash on SoBe oozing with booze, celebrities, and beautiful party people.
See also: Miami's Best Christmas 2013 Parties
August Alsina. With DJs Stevie J and Iron Lyon. Thursday, December 19, 11 p.m., Story, 136 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-538-2424; storymiami.com. Tickets cost $30-$40 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. "It's 2 o'clock and [we're] faded, this kush feeling amazing." We may be "way too drunk to be talking like this," but with all these bottles and models peeking out from every corner of Story, "man, [we] luv this [Miami] shit."
See also: Five Best Concerts in Miami This Week
Tony Rohr. With Hardline. Thursday, December 19, 11 p.m., Treehouse, 323 23rd St., Miami Beach; 305-614-4478; treehousemiami.com. Tickets cost $10 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Not to be confused with the Indiana Pizza Hut manager who was fired for closing on Thanksgiving Day, this Tony Rohr stirs up controversy every time he brings his fist-pumping uhntz-uhntz to the dance floor.
Miley Cyrus. With Benny Benassi and Mednas. Friday, December 20, 11 p.m., LIV, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-4680; livnightclub.com. Tickets cost $40-$75 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. "Red cups and sweaty bodies everywhere," and lots of twerking ... Looks like Miley and her crew of Bangerz will fit in just fine at LIV. Here's to partying "all night 'til we see the sunlight!"
See also: We Saw Miley Twerkin' Santa Claus
Armin Van Buuren. With Dave Sol. Friday, December 20, 11 p.m., Story, 136 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-538-2424; storymiami.com. Tickets cost $60-$125 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. It's a "Beautiful Life" when you're surrounded by flawless beauties shaking their ass to Grammy nominated beat banger, Armin Van Buuren. So "just close your eyes and dance the night forever," bro.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Zeds Dead. With Caligula. Friday, December 20, 11 p.m., Mansion, 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-695-8411; mansionmiami.com. Tickets cost $30 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Because sometimes you gotta let loose and go "Ratchet." YOLO.
YG. With DJs Entice, Bulletproof, Fergie, and Springer. Saturday, December 21, 11 p.m., Cameo, 1445 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-532-2667; cameomiami.com. Tickets cost $20 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. YG may only be 23, but the straight outta Compton rapper has already topped Billboard charts, landing at number 19 on the Hot 100 with his hit, "My Nigga." And now, he's "all about [his] business like a suit and tie." So you might wanna bring "a set of wings, 'cause [he's] too fly."