The Marlins are barely over .500 and still six games back in the NL East. The Heat trail the Oklahoma City Thunder by a game in the NBA Finals and the Dolphins just signed Chad Ochocinco.
Clearly, there's a lot to be upset about, Miami. And obviously, the best way to forget the current state of our professional sports teams is to drop some Molly, charge a couple of $600 vodka bottles to your credit card, and check out some of the world's greatest DJs spinning digital tracks this weekend.
These are the six best club parties on South Beach.
Kontrol Presents Sasha. Thursday, June 14, 11 p.m., Mansion, 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. Visit mansionmiami.com. He's an acid house legend and a Grammy nominated producer. But on Thursday night, Sasha's all yours at Mansion.
Ferry Corsten. Thursday, June 14, 11 p.m., LIV Nightclub, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Visit livnightclub.com. According to the DJ List, Holland's Ferry Corsten is the 13th best DJ in the world. This weekend, however, he's one of the top six on SoBe.
Afrojack's Jacked Summer Tour. With Nervo, Quintino, Shermanology, and a surprise guest. Friday, June 15, and Saturday, June 16, 10 p.m., Mansion, 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. Visit mansionmiami.com. Production issues forced Afrojack to scratch Bayfront Park from his Jacked tour. But it also meant the DJ could add a second Miami gig, and the first one's going down this Friday.
Harry "Choo Choo" Romero. Saturday, June 16, 11 p.m., Wall Lounge, 2201 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Visit wallmiami.com. "Choo-Choo," all aboard! Jump on the dance train. Harry Romero's your conductor on this fantastic, electronic music voyage.
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Margaret Dygas and Three. Saturday, June 16, 11 p.m., Treehouse, 323 23rd St., Miami Beach. Visit treehousemiami.com. She's conquered London, playing some of that city's best nightclubs. Now Margaret's coming to Miami and taking over Treehouse, our Best Small Music Venue.
Glenn Morrison. Sunday, June 17, 4 p.m., Nikki Beach, 1 Ocean Dr., Miami Beach. Visit nikkibeachmiami.com. There aren't many clubs in the world that can throw a party on the beach. Nikki, however, is nothing but surf, sex, and sand.