General Ignacio Zaragoza Seguín.
You probably don't recognize the name. But General Seguín is the reason you'll tape a felt mustache to your clean-shaven face and inadvertently offend 66 percent of the Hispanic population in the United States on Saturday.
Without his leadership, the Mexican army wouldn't have defeated French forces at the Battle of Puebla on May 6, 1862. And without his leadership, we wouldn't have Cinco de Mayo.
While there're are plenty of Cinco de Mayo party options in Miami, including a burlesque show, "mini" wrestlers, and a drum circle, there are only six killer club parties on South Beach this weekend.
Check 'em out.
Tiësto. Thursday, May 3, 11 p.m., LIV, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Visit livnightclub.com. In most cities, a Tiësto set is an incredibly special once-a-year occurrence. En la playa, it's a typical Thursday.
Wolfgang Gartner. With Pierce Fulton, presented by Magic Circus. Friday, May 4, 11 p.m., Amnesia, 136 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Visit amnesiamiami.com. Coachella, EDC, Ultra -- Wolfgang's played 'em all. Why bother dealing with the music festival crowd when you can catch him in an air-conditioned nightclub.
Manik and Hush Hush. With a secret guest, presented by Link and Miami Rebels. Friday, May 5, 11 p.m., Treehouse, 323 23rd St., Miami Beach. Visit treehousemiami.com. New York City-based Manik was named one of DJ Mag's "Hot to Watch" artists last year, recognizing his blend of house, funk, disco, yada, yada, yada. He does it all.
Chico Secci. Saturday, May 5, 11 p.m., WALL Lounge, 2201 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Visit wallmiami.com. When he debuted Secci's "Tarantella" on his show, Pete Tong described it as one of the best EDM tracks of the year. We can't disagree.
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Jack. E. Saturday, May 5, 11 p.m., LIV, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach. Visit livnightclub.com. It's Cinco de Mayo. Do as the Mexicans do and party like you're in St. Tropez. Yeah, we know.
Robbie Rivera. Saturday, May 5, 11 p.m., Mansion, 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. Visit mansionmiami.com. Welcome home, Robbie.