Miami never sleeps.
Sure, the $700 bottles stop poppin' at dawn. But then it's just time to drag our sexy uhntz-uhntz-ing asses to the supersecret afterparty, followed by some beat-freaking brunch with DJ Mimosa!
To be honest, though, we here at Crossfade are kinda exhausted of being so expensive and beautiful. After all, it's only been 24 hours since we officially wrapped our six-day New Year's celebration.
Yet the doorman waits for no one. So here are this week's six best Miami club parties.
Luca Bacchetti. With Inxec and Randall M. Thursday, January 3, 11 p.m., Electric Pickle, 2826 N. Miami Ave., Miami; 305-456-5613; electricpicklemiami.com. Tickets cost $10 to $15 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Hailing from Tuscany, this self-described "Italian DJ, producer, globetrotter" is accustomed to a slightly less hectic pace than the average Dade County native. Go chill like Bacchetti for a night.
Tommy Trash and Hot Mouth. With Mednas. Thursday, January 3, 11 p.m., LIV, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-4680; livnightclub.com. Tickets cost $40 to $50 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Even though Tommy Trash and Hot Mouth might sound like the goofy title of a low-budget fetish video from the '80s, these guys definitely aren't garbage munchers. Just professional party starters.
Gavin Herlihy. With Hardline and Thunderpony. Presented by LINK andMiami Rebels. Friday, January 4, 11 p.m., Treehouse, 323 23rd St., Miami Beach; 305-614-4478; treehousemiami.com. Tickets cost $10 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Need a boost? But uppers proved useless? Try Gavin Herlihy. These days, as the Leeds-based DJ-producer told British mag Junk, dude's making music for "that point when you press the 'Go' button on your night out."
Moguai. With Chicco Secci. Saturday, January 5, 10 p.m., Wall Lounge, 2201 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-938-3131; wallmiami.com. Tickets cost $60 and up plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Generally, Germans aren't considered to be the most upbeat members of the international uhtnz-uhntz community. But Moguai (born André Tegeler) is always superstoked, endlessly shouting extra-exclamatory stuff like "Wooop!!" and "Pumped!!" and "Freu mich!!" So how do you say "Party!!" in Deutsch?
The Martinez Brothers. With Filsonik. Saturday, January 5, 10 p.m., Space, 34 NE 11th St., Miami; 305-375-0001; clubspace.com. Tickets cost $20 to $40 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. These literal, real-life bros got into electronic dance music as teens, even playing club gigs before they could legally order a Red Bull and vodka. So naturally, as they told New Times, the Martinez Brothers "hope [EDM] gets more and more popular, and that more and more kids get into it." That said, the "kids" aren't invited to Space. Sorry, lil' beat freaks. Adults only.
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Paul Oakenfold. With Project46. Saturday, January 5, 11 p.m., LIV, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-4680; livnightclub.com. Tickets cost $40 to $75 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Who's the granddaddy of being expensive and beautiful? Why, 49-year-old English deejay and gentleman Paul Oakenfold. He used to work for Studio 54's Steve Rubell. He's got Madonna on speed dial. And now, like the rest of us, Oakie's getting' all sleepless and sexy in Miami.