There are a number of perfectly legitimate reasons you need to memorize the detailed band breakdown for tonight's Bruise Cruise Kickoff Party.
And we can think of three straight away: (1) Maybe you love Jacuzzi Boys, but you hate Black Lips (WTF?), and you're launching a 38-city boycott; or (2) You need to properly pace this round of degenerate drinking, so you don't pass out in a puddle of your own puke by the halfway point; or even (3) You just can't wait to start fantasizing about this awesome nine-band gangbang.
Whatever your reasons, see the full schedule after the cut.
Bruise Cruise Kickoff Party Schedule
7:30 p.m. Jacuzzi Boys
8:20 p.m. Turbo Fruits
9:10 p.m. Ty Segall
10:00 p.m. Surfer Blood
10:50 p.m. Strange Boys
11:40 p.m. Thee Oh Sees
12:30 a.m. Vivian Girls
1:20 a.m. Quintron and Miss Pussycat
2:10 a.m. Black Lips
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Bruise Cruise Kickoff Party with the Black Lips, Vivian Girls, Surfer Blood, Strange Boys, Thee Oh Sees, Quintron and Miss Pussycat, Ty Segall, Turbo Fruits, and Jacuzzi Boys. Thursday, February 24. Grand Central, 697 N. Miami Ave., Miami. The party starts at 6 p.m. and tickets cost $20 via wantickets.com. Ages 18 and up. Visit bruisecruisefestival.com.