Rick Ross Goes Vegan and Four Other Bogus Music Predictions for 2012
With just a few days left in 2011, we can't help but predict what 2012 has in store. Will the world come to an end? Maybe. Will Barack Obama be re-elected? Hopefully. Will the Miami Heat dominate the NBA? Of course.
But what about the music world? What changes will it see in 2012? What's going to be the big story of the New Year?
Check out Crossfade's list of bogus music predictions for 2012 after the cut.
Rick Ross Considers Vegan Lifestyle
Odds: Very Slim
For a 300-pound dude who tackles "fried cheese bread, artichoke dip, roasted chicken with sides, and three pieces of Key lime pie" for dinner, The Boss wouldn't last an hour sans animal byproducts. A more suitable resolution might be drastically reducing his caloric intake from 26,000 to about 2,000.
Talyor Swift Cleans Up Her Image
C'mon, Taylor Swift's PR rep has never had to work a day in his/her life. This girl's so straight it makes Pope Benedict XVI seem like a Nazi. If anything, Swift should get into a little trouble this year. Maybe partner up with Miley Cyrus and smoke some salvia?
Will Smith Releases Explicit Version of Big Willie Style
Odds: Who Cares?
Will Smith is notoriously PG on his rap records. But in 2012, the Fresh Prince of Bel Air might get jiggy with an F-bomb when he re-releases his debut record 15 years after it originally dropped.
Kings of Leon Breakup, Release Best of Sex Album
Odds: Very Likely
Lead singer Caleb Followill just announced that he and his Victoria's Secret model wife Lily Aldridge are expecting their first child. Drummer Jared Followill's busy playing golf while the two other dudes from KOL crash cars into houses and do general rock 'n' roll shit. These guys can retire on "Sex on Fire" residuals alone. Might as well hang up their high-fashion hats and call it a career.
Tyler, The Creator Thinks About Converting to Mormonism
If Tyler joins the Mormon Tabernacle Choir after completing a Central American mission, the Mayans win and the world's coming to an end. The Goblin follow-up would probably sound like this if Tyler went LDS.
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