You've been working hard, haven't you? Don't you think it's time for a vacation?
Well, if you're looking for the perfect waterfront pad, and you have a month to kill and at least $30,000, not only are you a rich son of a bitch, but we've got the deal for you!
Gloria Estefan, Miami's beloved musical and cultural icon, is opening her very swank guest house for getaway rentals. Tucked away across the bridge on Star Island, this 4,500-square-foot escape is the ideal spot to "shake your body, baby, do the conga" in peace.
Don't worry about feeling too cramped. This "guest house" is larger than our actual place of residence, though if we had $30,000 in spending money, this might be a step-down.
With three bedrooms, three baths, a private entrance, and a jacuzzi spa, it more than earns its price tag. Not to mention the gorgeous, exclusive view.
We can't be sure what motivated Mrs. Estefan to put the bungalow on the market. Maybe "Conga" royalties are low, or maybe she feels strapped for cash now that some woman is suing her local restaurant, Bongo's Cuban Café. Still, that plaintiff is only seeking $15,000, half the monthly rental fee of the property. Surely, some jet-setting asshole will scoop this guest house up in no time.
We can imagine it now ...
Our affluent alter-ego chillaxing, poolside, with a coconut-flavored alcoholic beverage, the sweet sounds of the Miami Sound Machine wafting in the background, Gloria herself laughing at our hysterical quips.
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The life. It can be yours. Just make sure you Instagram the shit out of it, so we can live vicariously through you.
Follow Kat Bein on Twitter @KatSaysKill.