Ratchet Christmas: Top Ten Videos
Where all my ho ho hos at?
Santa wants all the naughty girls and boys to drop it in his lap, because we're celebrating the most ratchet Christmas that the streets have ever seen.
What makes a ho ratchet? Well, she's probably gold diggin' in a messy weave, twerkin' in her stockings, chewin' like she's got Vaseline on her gums, and talkin' way too loud.
Of course, a ratchet Christmas just isn't complete without this set of insane Christmas carols and twerk vids. So come over here and eat our cookies like you 'spose to.
See also: XXXmas: Ten Sexiest Christmas Songs
Ms. Lauryn Hill - The MLH Caravan: A Diaspora Calling! Concert Series
TicketsSun., Dec. 11, 8:30pm
Gold Coast Jazz: Jon Faddis Quartet
TicketsWed., Dec. 14, 7:45pm
TicketsThu., Dec. 15, 7:30pm
Trans-Siberian Orchestra Presented by Hallmark Channel
TicketsFri., Dec. 16, 3:30pm
Girl Choir of South Florida: Carol of the Dance
TicketsFri., Dec. 16, 8:00pm
Migos' "Hannah Montana"
This isn't traditionally a Christmas song, although it has been one of our fave ratchet anthems of the year. When Miamians say they're partying with Miley, it means they're having a white Christmas. Y'know what we're saying? Who wants to hit the slopes with us? And go singing this 'round down the block?
Eazy-E's "Merry Muthafuckin' Xmas"
Have y'all ever heard the story of the badass Eazy-E? Or, better yet, the story of Santa Motherfukin' Right? This is a tale old as time set to the classic sounds of Christmas carols. "Ring them bells, ring them bells/She's takin' it all the way /Oh, what fun it is to watch her suck my dick this way."Next Page
Get the Music Newsletter
Keep your thumb on the local music scene each week with music news, trends, artist interviews and concert listings. We'll also send you special ticket offers and music deals.