The '90s are back! The fashions, the music, the attitude. There are more people Rollerblading by the beach than we've seen in about 25 years. (Wow, it's been too long!)
Now, we couldn't be more excited about the return of the most bleakly apathetic decade in pop culture. But along with the return of flannels and overalls, acid wash and jelly shoes, modern rap and R&B are rehashing a bunch of classic '90s anthems.
Sometimes, we can dig it. Sometimes, it feels like blasphemy. Sometimes, it's so mind-bendingly stupid, we just can't understand who OK-ed the hook. Here are the bad, the worst, and the totally what-were-they-thinking.
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7. Drake's "Draft Day'
We're starting our list off with an example of how to do things right. Lauryn Hill might not be stoked on this sampling of "That Thing," or maybe she is. Drake is pretty much on his king shit right now. We feel like Drizzy brought it hard enough on this record to justify the use of a classic beat. He made it his own. We can't say much for the rest of this list.
6. Kind Ink's "Show Me," Featuring Chris Brown
Real talk, we can't stop listening to this song. Yes, Chris Brown is a terrible person, but put him on a track, and he's going to take it to the top spot. But we can't help feeling like he basically cheated. Everyone on Planet Earth loves Robin S.' "Show Me Love." It's one song that never went out of style. From DJs to rappers, gays and straights, old and young, everyone can get behind that simple, repetitive synth line. Ah well.
5. Rick Ross' "Thug Cry," Featuring Lil Wayne
Yo, Rozay is the boy. He's one of the only "Miami rappers" hitting charts who's actually from Miami. Here he is, showing off his softer side (insert overweight joke here), but what is the most compelling part of the track? It's that introspective hook! And what generational classic did they steal that from? Oh yeah! Souls of Mischief's "93 'Til Infinity." One of the best hip-hop songs ever recorded has become Rick's summer night anthem. Sorry, Bawse, but you can't touch the cool delivery of the original. We just wanna hear how we chill from '93 'til.
4. Ariana Grande's "Right There," Featuring Big Sean
This bitch is adorable, but not so adorable that we don't recognize a Big Pun ripoff when we hear one. You could tell us this song doesn't officially sample "Still a Player," but we would laugh at you and say the industry has ways of not paying up. Seriously, just listen to the original. What's even worse? She already officially sampled the track on "My Way," her collaboration with Mac Miller, so she's actually a repeat offender. Lordamercy.
3. Yo Gotti's "I Know," Featuring Rich Homie Quan
You know that we know that you stole this "I Know" beat from Luniz's classic track "I Got 5 on It." Just because you put a pre-existing dope beat behind your mumbling doesn't mean you made a hot track. Although, it's still getting play, so hats off to you, sir.
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2. Trey Songz' "Na Na"
What the hell? Look what you done started is right. Sure, the Fugees sampled Teena Marie, but you're definitely harkening back to that classic "Fu-Gee-La" shit, and that is something that just can't be touched. It's especially terrible, Trey, that you turned it into some throwaway sex song. The silver lining? No one will even remember "Na Na" in a few years.
1. Ludacris' "Party Girls," Featuring Wiz Khalifa, Jeremih, Cashmere Cat
This is really disappointing. Ludacris is amazing. Jeremih is one of the sexiest vocalists on the scene. Cashmere Cat is the future of dance music. (Wiz Khalifa -- alright, he's whatever. But with those other three, there was a chance for real greatness.) And what do they do? A shitty rework of Aqua's inexplicably bizarre "Barbie Girl." How high were these fuckers? We're going to just start pretending this never happened. And hopefully, they'll do something for the grown folk another day.
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