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Punk Ain't Dead! Miami's Top Ten Hardcore Punk Bands

Churchill's, home to all Miami's punks.
Churchill's, home to all Miami's punks.

One day soon, a flood may come and drown all of Miami in the Biscayne Bay, but for now, the city stinks, God is broke, and the youth are getting restless. The politicians hate the workers and the poor, the pigs take every opportunity to slam your face in the pavement, the Everglades are on track to becoming a Walgreens parking lot in Kendall, and between ICE, Homeland Security, and Rick Scott, most of your friends have been deported.

Will you sit home and rot? Or will you rise above and fight the system? Music isn't just a way to escape reality, it's also a way to fight against what's wrong with it. Give thanks we live in a country where we can protest loud, fast, and hard, using whichever words we want.

Here are Miami's top ten hardcore punk rock bands right now.


10. Baker Acted

The Miami scene probably has more bands with female players than almost any other city in America. This one has a chick singer, but what makes Baker Acted great is the reaction that they get. When the band plays a house party, the ceiling ends up full of boot marks. These pissed off kids play so hard that their blisters get blisters, their guitars have bloodstains, and their eardrums explode at least twice at every show. Actual chainsaws listen to Baker Acted when they don't want to hear themselves talk.


9. To Be Hated

Sure, the working stiffs of To Be Hated would put their vinyl up for sale at your stupid indie record store. But they know you'd just use it as a coaster for your latte. This is one of the hardest working punk bands in the South. When they aren't in Miami, they're chasing down gigs all across Florida, singing against shitty jobs, the corrupt injustice system, and the way we've all been outsourced. Their style is simple in the best way -- melodic and easy to sing along with, even if you're hearing To Be Hated for the first time.


8. Hardware Youth

Straight-up American hardcore, baby. Hardware Youth's rhythm guitar player is faster in the pocket and harder on the breakdown than anyone in Dade County. The lead singer is more explosive than a match dropped in a gas can. And the crew plays cover songs by great New York bands like Warzone, Judge, and Agnostic Front. The average set feeds off the energy in the pit and this band is not afraid to make fun of a lazy crowd. Hardware Youth is rooted in the old school. And as angry as the band sounds, the songs are mostly all about the unity.

7. Eztorbo

Sometimes, when the music hits you, you do feel pain. This band is political as fuck in the best, most First Amendment way possible. If Benjamin Franklin were still alive, he would be the band's roadie. The songs are short, ugly, and full of grindcore, causing circle pits in every city where an Eztorbo show goes down. It's all about Pendejo Productions, independent local music distribution, and keeping the scene going by any means necessary.

6. Unit 6

Classic punk rock fury! This is one of the longest lasting bands alive in Miami right now. Unit 6 dranks, smokes, parties, plays fast, and talks shit with the best of em'. The band will steal and run train on your girlfriend, hand you a beer can full of piss, and smoke all your everything, then go to your house, throw up in the fish tank, crap on your couch, and wipe ass with your towel. This crew reps Hialeah, spiked leather jackets, mohawks, krip weed, and Jack Daniels.

 

5. Nobodys Hero

Stacked with players who've done decades worth of time in other great local crews, Nobodys Hero has mastered the craft; they play in tune, in time, and faster, and more furious than a Marlin fighting hook on 1,000 pound test. The dudes of Nobodys Hero may be old (not really), but they'll be young till they die. They got that attitude. And they're not in it for the money. They play because it's fun.

4. Gorilla Pussy

Yeah, this band's name is Gorilla Pussy and the three people in it will instru-vocally pull your face through the holes in your speakers, eat your soul, kick you in the nuts/lips, spin you in circles, pull your underpants over your head, drown you in a toilet at the Metrorail, kick you in the shins, grab you by the septum, and toss you in a dumpster full of razorblades at the free clinic. Gorilla Pussy have more thirty-second songs than you have toes and fingers.

3. Askultura

This band has got more wildlife in it than National Geographic, and these party animals could make Helen Keller dance. Askultura's mix of urban-crunk-reggae-punk is pure as 151, and universal enough that they could play a welcome home concert for 2 Pac and still start pit. Between the hand drums, stick drums, horn brass, heavy bass, great vocals, and island riddims, Askultura turn every concert to a carnival, and every club into an animal house.

2. Guerrilleros de Nadie

These warriors are full-fledged, battle-scarred, hardcore punk rock front line infantry. They don't march. They stomp into battle, head first and ready for war. They throw shows, build venues, and fight for all Miami. They play with more heart than a surgeon with a fistful of ventricles. They're only three people, but they sound like seven, hundred.


1. Enough!

This band is the lifeblood of Destroyio Records, which is one of the strongest forces keeping punk rock alive in Miami. Enough! sounds like old-school California music filtered through the pisshole of America that is Miami on the dickhead tip of Florida. You will leave this crew's concert and have its songs stuck in your head till next time you see them play. And then you will sing along, buy an album, learn to play, start a band, and open for them at Churchill's. Do it. Start today.

Big shout out to any band that ever has or ever will do it. Lists are stupid, rankings are stupid, think for your self, talk that shit, walk that shit, do that shit yourself. One time for Anger on that comeback tour and all the other local bands in the Tri County, Florida, America, and the world.

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