The United States of America is totally addicted to the white stuff.
Strung out, fat, unfocused, cranky, fiending -- we are a nation of shrubby slaves to the cane, cube, and spoonful whose bodies (and minds) could never be called beach-ready.
But there's a cure for our sucrose-, lactose-, and fructose-laden woes ... No Sugar Added, a two-day, carb-free dance detox going down at Nikki Beach Miami during Miami Music Week.
Your chief EDM instructors will be trance expert Paul Oakenfold and techno sage Carl Craig, alongside 71 other slim and sleek electro types like Radio Slave, Heidi, Maya Jane Coles, Miss Kittin, Joachim Garraud, Designer Drugs, Felix Da Housecat, and Miami's own Troy Kurtz.
See the cut for No Sugar Added 2012's full lineup.
No Sugar Added 2012 Lineup
Friday, March 23
-Gabriel & Dresden
-Hard Rock Sofa
Carl Craig & Friends
-Carl Craig with special guest
-Maya Jane Coles
-Kill the Noise
Saturday, March 24
-Manuel de la Mare
-Sheppard & Gordon
-Felix Da Housecat
-Drop the Lime
-Bart B More
-Style of Eye
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No Sugar Added 2012. Friday, March 23, and Saturday, March 24. Nikki Beach Miami, One Ocean Dr., Miami Beach. The party starts at noon each day and two-day passes cost $95 to $150 plus fees via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Call 305-538-1111 or visit nikkibeach.com.