Way back in the beginning of 2010, you harbored this strange delusion of spending a pleasure-filled night with the best (lady?) rapper alive, Nicki Minaj.
You imagined romping through a semi-private, electric-pink wonderland of gooey cotton candy and warm shag carpet. You imagined trading verses. You imagined getting über-expensive booty shots so you could be exactly like her.
But as the days clicked past and the hits ("Bed Rock," "Massive Attack," "Your Love") piled up and every multi-platinum rapper in the world (Diddy! Drake! Lil Wayne!) revealed his undying love for Ms. Minaj, you lost hope.
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Then you heard about her All-Pink Everything New Year's Eve party and it was all you ever dreamed: cotton-candy machines, superbright shag, Harajuku Barbie dancers with ass prosthetics, and free pink drinks till you puke.
Yes, you and Nicki won't be alone. But maybe someday.
Nicki Minaj's All-Pink Everything New Year's Eve party. Mansion, 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach. The booty shots begin at 9 p.m., and tickets cost $150 to $5000 via wantickets.com. Call 305-532-1525 or visit mansionmiami.com.