A wise man once said, "Ain't no party like a New Times party 'cause a New Times party don't stop."
But why are our parties so awesome?
The two-pronged answer is part of a longstanding tradition of histrionic revelry, dating back to the Socratic orgies of Ancient Greece: Dank food and even danker booze.
Killer tunes don't hurt either.
Lucky for you, us, and everybody in South Florida with an interest in getting lit on the cheap, New Times' next nuclear meltdown-style soiree, Beerfest 2013, has got all three.
Of course, we recommend checking out the extremely thorough Beerfest website to help figure out which wholesale hooch payment plan is best for you and the other functional alcoholics that comprise your entourage.
However, here is Crossfade's guide to the sounds of the festival of beer.
Straddling the line between '90s alternative and early-aughts indie rock, Modenage is one of South Florida's longest-running outfits. Last year, the group released its first single in four years, "It's Never Easy," and has been on a prolific songwriting kick ever since. You can be sure it will be bringing that snowballing momentum to Beerfest.
Can the 954 get down with 305 sounds? Survey says: Yes! Featuring Afrobeta's Tony Smurphio, Beatmachines is like the Dr. Frankenstein of Miami party music, sewing together choice components of EDM, pop music, and riddims from all over the globe to build the most fearsome party monster that could ever be imagined.
Danceable rock with chops to boot may sound impossible. But the Hongs are here to show us that in 2013, new wave can still sound new.
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This trio of usual suspects from the Grove/Brickell gastropub gig circuit kicks out the pop-rock jams with maximum gloss and sheen.
P.S. There will be beer!
Sixteenth-annual New Times "Original" Beerfest 2013. Presented by Isle Casino. With Modernage, Beat Machines, the Hongs, and Tremends. Saturday, April 6. 6 to 11 p.m. Tickets start at $30 for general admission, $75 for VIP and may be purchased in advance through Ticketfly.com.