Remember when Miley Cyrus was just a lil' buck-toothed, aw-shucks, Southern-fried Disney princess?
Well, erase that shit from your mind. 'Cause Hannah Montana has been dead since 2011. And Ms. Cyrus has grown up into a twerking, penis cake-loving, side boob-flashing, porn star-smooching, 20-year-old Glamazon from some not-so-distant NC17-rated future.
Just look at the vid for Miley's new single, "We Won't Stop." There's gold grills, "twerk" spelled out in Spaghetti-Os, and lots of shameless ass-flexin' ... She's basically become Rihanna's whitebread bad girl twin.
So if you're a twerking, penis cake-loving, side boob-flashing, porn star-smooching Miamian, we've got some supertitillating news ...
This Friday, Ms. Cyrus will be putting in a "special guest appearance" at Y100's daytime minifest, Mackapalooza 2013, alongside headliner, superstar DJ, and RiRi collaborator Calvin Harris.
Now, there's currently no indication exactly what a "special guest appearance" from Miley might entail. But if "We Can't Stop" is a fairly accurate depiction of a typical afternoon with this self-described "dime, best top of the line, cute face with a BIG behind," then we call expect ...
"Shaking it like we at a strip club ... And everyone in line in the bathroom/Trying to get a line in the bathroom/We all so turnt up here/Getting turnt up, yeah, yeah."
Or maybe just a 30-second celebrity twerk session to some pre-recorded pop-hop.
Either way, as Y100 points out, "it's FREEE!!!!"
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Y100's Mackapalooza. With Miley Cyrus and Calvin Harris. Friday, June 28. Clevelander Hotel, 1020 Ocean Dr., Miami Beach. The party starts at 11 a.m. and ends at 6 p.m. Admission is free. Visit y100.com.