Miley Cyrus' Top Ten Fashion Freakouts
Love her, hate her, pretend to be indifferent, it doesn't matter. Nothing can stop the Miley Cyrus media train -- especially when she commits so wholeheartedly to stepping outside dressed like a dominatrix from the Arctic circle.
Cyrus is either America's next great fashion icon or just a drunk, post-teen wreck like we all were at 20. The difference is paparazzi didn't follow us around when we were half-naked drinking whiskey out of a bottle in public.
Here are Crossfade's top ten Miley Cyrus fashion freakouts, since that awesome day when she cut all her hair off and became a woman.
Can you wear checkered print with lace? Yes, please. She's like a doily-clad punk-rock princess. Her fierce gaze says "I know I look ridiculous. You're just upset you can't pull this shit off."
Cyrus is slowly transforming herself into the first Disney-hip-hop crossover success story. Here she is combining her two major influences, channeling Coolio and Roger Rabbit at the same damn time. What a playful mynx.
Let us not forget that Miley comes from a flashy country background. Here she is harkening back to those Nashville-gone-Vegas roots with a colorful, eclectic, kind of China-town grotesque ensemble. It's very fat Elvis of her, and we adore that.
This is how Miley does I'm-just-going-down-to-the-counter-store-don't-have-time-for-real-pants. We all know that feel. But honestly, Miley, those shoes? What are those sandals about? Tsk tsk girl, we hope they are comfortable.
In case you didn't notice, the '90s are totally back, and here Miley shows off her fishnet best. The perfect blend flesh-tone underneath paired with the explosive mane gives her a real I-let-my-dog-eat-my-Barbie-doll vibe. She's a my-size Cynthia doll via Angelica of Rugrats '93.
Of course, there's this emblematic outfit from the can't-be-unseen VMA breakout performance. It's possibly the clunkiest bathing suit of all time, but this high teddy bear helped her twerk her way into the MTV history books. Twenty years from now, we'll still be watching reruns of that turkey butt on lists of most memorable VMA embarrassments.
Nothing says "I've got money" like wearing a bunch of dead Presidents. You know you've been getting high with rappers when money as fashion statement is a plausible idea. And look at those clunky shoes! Watch out world, we've got a '90s child on the loose.
This is how Miley does class-act. Is there a nipple peeking through? Who cares, this lighting makes her look glamorous as fuhk. As long as Miley remembers to cut all those duck-traps-waiting-to-happen before she throws this look away.
Mad Max Miley is our favorite Miley ever. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.
And, this just happened. Cyrus wore this strange amalgamation of nothingness for her recent iHeart Radio festival performance, and we're not really quite sure what to say about it. She kind of looks like a space stripper from the planet Hustler, and this is mostly why we find ourselves to infatuated.
Miley Cyrus, we hope you never change.
Follow Kat Bein on Twitter @KatSaysKill.
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