Miley Cyrus Is Getting Married! Two-Tiered Penis Cake and Other Wedding Predictions
Miley Cyrus is getting hitched.
After about a year of exploring her sexuality, running around barefoot and braless in Los Angeles, and allegedly becoming a pot head, the 19-year-old pop princess is ready to settle down with boyfriend of three years and The Hunger Games star, Liam Hemsworth.
"I'm so happy to be engaged and look forward to a life of happiness with Liam," Cyrus told People magazine yesterday.
"Life is beautiful," she later tweeted, almost certainly referring to her engagement. And though a date hasn't been set for the couple's nuptials, Crossfade's banking on a memorable reception complete with wardrobe malfunctions and phallic baked goods.
Here are five things you might see at Miley's wedding.
TicketsWed., Oct. 26, 8:00pm
Anthony Hamilton With Lalah Hathaway & Eric Benet
TicketsThu., Oct. 27, 7:30pm
Alessia Cara: Know-It-All Tour Part II
TicketsFri., Oct. 28, 7:30pm
Sully Erna: Hometown Tour 2016
TicketsFri., Oct. 28, 8:00pm
Sia: Nostalgic For the Present Tour
TicketsSat., Oct. 29, 7:00pm
5. The Return of "Achy Breaky Heart"
Twenty years ago, Miley's father, legendary country singer and Disney star Billy Ray Cyrus released "Achy Breaky Heart," crossover country's seminal hit.
Because he's a master at exploiting his daughter for his own celebrity gain, we're betting a week's worth of blog money that Miley jumps on stage with the live band to perform Daddy Cyrus's "Achy Breaky Heart."
4. Munchies Buffet
You know you're a stoner when...
At her 19th birthday, Cyrus was presented with a Bob Marley cake and said, "You know you're a stoner when friends make you a Bob Marley cake--you know you smoke way too much fuckin' weed."
Miley all but admitted she smokes pot on the reg. And it got us thinking, a wedding reception buffet of Fritos, fruit-loops, caramel, and a pop rocks would be so dank.Next Page
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