As the world waits with bated breath to see what America's favorite twerk monster will do next, we can say with near-absolute certainty that it will be something to do with weed smoking -- not that there's anything wrong with that.
In the past, lil'-no-more Miley Cyrus has been shifty about her dealings with drugs. (Although, a certain YouTube video blew the cover off her supposed sobriety pretty early on). Now, in a recent cover story for Rolling Stone, she sheds the mask and goes full advocate, but she doesn't support icky '90s drugs.
So, what does and doesn't the Cyrus girl get high on? Let's find out.
See also: Miley Cyrus' Top Ten Fashion Freakouts
If you pay attention to pop culture at all, you've seen the infamous Cyrus salvia experiment. Celebrating her 18th birthday with (hopefully real) friends, Cyrus took a giant bong-hit of the psychedelic shrub and let her buddies film the whole thing. She claimed to have "a little bit of a bad trip" (maybe it's the grungy Bush soundtrack, but she giggled her way through the whole thing. After hallucinating her ex-fiance Liam Hemsworth in the room (who apparently disapproves of mind-altering substances), she spit-fired some Nicki Minaj lyrics before hovering back down to Earth. She seemed to really like it, and in Stone, she admits to having smoked Peyote and howling at the moon. Let the record show that Cyrus gets trippy, mane.
But Cyrus isn't some all-consuming drug fiend. She has standards. Cocaine does not meet them. "Hollywood is a coke town," she tells Stone, going on to explain that she doesn't like coke because it isn't very social (obvi she's never tried doing coke in a crowded room). Miley prefers happy drugs. "I really don't like coke. It's so gross and so dark." She then confuses coke with heroin. "It's like what are you, from the '90s? Ew."
Yes, Miley does molly. You might be confused, because she told the magazine in July that the lyrics in the bridge of "We Can't Stop" were "dancing with Miley." "I have an accent! So when I say 'Miley,' it must sound like 'molly,'" she said. "You're not allowed to say 'molly' on the radio, so it obviously says 'Miley.' I knew people were gonna wonder what I'm saying in that song." But then she changed her tune: "It depends who's doing what. If you're aged ten [the lyric is] Miley, if you know what I'm talking about then you know. I just wanted it to be played on the radio and they've already had to edit it so much," she told the Daily Mail. "I don't think people have a hard time understanding that I've grown up. You can Google me and you know what I'm up to -- you know what that lyric is saying."
Again, not all drugs are created equal. It's hard to believe Miley doesn't get poured up from time to time, especially rapping about "drinking out the bottle," but she doesn't hold liquor in such high esteem as her friends Molly and Mary Jane. "I think alcohol is way more dangerous than marijuana," she said in July, "people can be mad at me for saying that, but I don't care. I've seen a lot of people spiral down with alcohol, but I've never seen that happen with weed."
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Above all else, Miley Cyrus just really wants to hang with Mary Jane. "I think weed is the best drug on Earth," she told Rolling Stone, which only makes her as strange as about some 14 million Americans who admit to using the drug regularly. "As long as it isn't illegal, there are far more dangerous things. And it's legal in the state of California," she told Stone back in July. "I'm happy to live in California, a place where you can be whoever you want to be."
Follow Kat Bein on Twitter @KatSaysKill.