"I just wanna fuck your face," Mike Dece croons on "I Love U," his faux-sensual R&B collaboration with the equally crass Tropical Boy$. "Put my dick deep in your eye."
Obviously, the track is not about playing hard to get. In fact, it's about the exact opposite: Getting your freak on and then scouring slutty Tumblrs looking for the next shawty in need of a pearl necklace.
In case the dick jokes didn't tip you off, we hope the hipster-hop fashion sensibility -- bright colors, all printed everything, flipped cap with an inverted cross on the inside of the bill, junky bling, fur coat, and a silky-smooth babyface -- the internet-y, slightly seapunk production make the message extra clear: You're in for some swag.
Dece has taken a little of this and a little of that from hip-hop's newest school, pairing the poetic stupidity of Lil' B with the antisocial wit of Odd Future, minus the lyrical versatility. But Dece is not preoccupied with proficiency. His platform is idiocy.
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In fact, one has to wonder if the M.C. isn't just a swag parody. In his defense, local spitter Spaceghostpurp as well as the internet-based RVIDXR KLVN collective and Miami swag crew Metro Zu have all cosigned. So we have a feeling Mike Dece is about as serious as Adam Sandler or ODB. Serious about being stupid.
The MC's official stance on the matter? "Suck my penis."
Mike Dece's 1996 Album Release Party with Metro Zu and Denzel Curry. Friday, March 30. Sweat Records, 5505 NE Second Ave., Miami. The show starts at 8 p.m. and there's no cover. Call 786-693-9309 or visit sweatrecordsmiami.com.