Though he lived life like a nine-year-old kid (climbing trees, hosting sleepovers, enjoying water-balloon fights, etc.), Michael Jackson was a grown man when he sent Lisa Marie Presley a hand-written note in the early '90s about his battle with sleep deprivation.
But despite its author being an adult male, the juvenile penmanship, poor spelling, and blatant disregard for punctuation proves that the King of Pop's celebrity tutors were about as effective as Conrad Murray is ethical.
"Lisa I truly need this rest I haven't slept litterally [sic] in 4 days now," Jackson wrote. "I need to be away from phones and Business people. I must take care of my health first Im' [sic] crazy for you Love Turd."
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The letter was set to hit the auction block later this year. But according to TMZ, Julien's Auction in Beverly Hills has returned the note to Lisa Marie.
Julien's Auction owner Darren Julien tells the gossip site, "I'm assuming it's a personal nature, and we wanted to honor the request and continue our good relationship with Ms. Presley."