Miami's Twelve Best New Year's 2012 Parties

Forget your personal trainer, chartered accountant, and life coach.

We here at Crossfade are the highest authority on how to spend New Year's in Miami. And we say: "This is no time for moderation!" Go live out the dying days of 2011 in a totally out-of-control cyclone of rabid, unfettered excess: Steal pills from wasted celebs, eat fistfuls of foie gras, gobble edible 24-karat gold by the gram, and wash it all down with endless hits of Dom Pérignon off a Swarovski Crystal bubbly bong.

Or, uh, if your credit cards are already maxed out, just buy a general-admission ticket to one of Miami's ten best New Year's parties, sip the free champagne till midnight, and kiss a stranger when the ball finally drops on 2012.

Kaskade. Friday, December 30, 11 p.m., LIV, 4441 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-4680; Tickets are sold out. Ages 21 and up. Why not start your end-of-year party spree with a hopelessly impossible mission like trying to weasel your way into superstar DJ-producer Kaskade's sold-out electro-house fest? Sure, you might need to bribe the bouncer, score tix from a sketchy SoBe scalper with an office inside a dumpster, or sell yourself to a registered Fontainebleau guest for the night. But that's just the price of an awesome New Year's in Miami.

Nero. Friday, December 30, 9 p.m., Fillmore Miami Beach, 1700 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-673-7300; Tickets cost $23 plus fees via Ages 16 and up. The original Nero was a Roman Emperor who really liked to party. He allegedly set fire to Rome to sweeten a real estate deal, killed his mom, and even used Christians as lawn torches to illuminate a private garden. Of course, this evil megalomaniac won't be DJ-ing at the Fillmore this Friday. (He killed himself 1,943 years ago.) It's just the brutal British dubstep duo that stole Nero's name.

Lauryn Hill. With David Berrie, Drek Martinez, and DJ DL. Saturday, December 31, 9 p.m., Shelborne South Beach, 1801 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-531-1271; Tickets cost $200 to $5000 plus fees via Ages 21 and up. Yes, Ms. Lauryn Hill is a superdiva with a habit of showing up, say, two to five hours late for every party. Last year, her mani-pedi ran a little long, so she kept a Rock the Bells audience on hold for approximately 183 minutes. So will Ms. Hill be sharing a champagne toast at midnight with the Shelborne's NYE guests? The hotel's reps say, "Yes." But our clubland bookie puts the odds at 7-1. Place your bets, Fugees. See Crossfade's full article on Lauryn Hill's New Year's Eve 2012 party.

Jim Jones. Saturday, December 31, 9 p.m., SoBe Live, 1203 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-725-3353; Tickets cost $40 to $5,000 plus fees via Ages 21 and up. East Coast rapper Jim Jones would like to extend a personal NYE invitation from his homies in the Dipset crew to you. "What's poppin', M.I.Yayo?" Jones hollas. "SoBe Live! Let the ball drop! My New Year's resolution is 20 bottles every time I step in the club in 2012! Your boy Jim Jones will be goin' absolutely stupid! High heels, red bottoms! A lotta cash! You know the rules!" That's what you call motherfuckin' Dipsetmania. Note: It costs $5,000.

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