It's not easy being so fabulous. Unless you live in Miami.
With a sunny, sandy mecca like South Beach, our city's long been a home (and fave vacation spot) for proud, partyin' members of the international gay community.
But SoBe isn't the only neighborhood that flies the rainbow flag. From the Upper East Side to Coral Way and Doral, there are lots of amazing dance spots, hotel bars, even strip clubs for the adventurous yet discerning reveler.
Just check out Miami's ten best gay clubs.
See also: South Beach's Ten Best Dance Clubs
10. Hôtel Gaythering
Hôtel Gaythering may not a club per se, but don't get your panties in a bunch. As the only gay, "straight-friendly" hotel on the beach (now that Lords is gone), it deserves to be named among the best. Unlike almost every other hot spot on SoBe, there are no red velvet ropes, long lines, or dress code at the Gaythering. Here, it's all about good company, specialty cocktails, craft beers, and drink specials, like $6 Roy Vermouths with Mandarine Napoléon on Saturdays. Combine all of those ingredients and you've got a new spot to sip and gossip before kicking off the night.
Adjacent to the gentleman's club Vivid Live, the Floppy Rooster crowed at the dawn of the new year, becoming the only gay nudie bar in the Magic City, after Swinging Richards closed shop in 2013. Since then, it's been endless nights of pure filthy fun with its "huge main stage, four private VIP rooms, and friction area." And if you have yet to experience the total nude madness that arises, Wednesday Night Cockfight is when you want to get your Floppy Rooster cherry popped. Every week, the "sexy rooster cast" exposes their junk and judges the $300 amateur contest (with your help, of course). Let's just say the Rooster "puts some hump in your Hump Day."
Sugar, spice, and everything nice -- that's what the queens of Azúcar (or Club Sugar, if you wanna call it by the inglés name) are made of. Located right off Coral Way, it's not necessary to strut over to the beach for a bite of this sweetness. Though only open Thursday through Sunday, this club's four days of Drag Wars 7 with TP Lords, salsa dancing a lo Cubano, over-the-top Sabados de Reventon, and Cabaret Sundays with "las divas del momento" are more than enough to satisfy your sweet tooth.
With four rooms and an enormous outdoor patio, Solare Coliseum is a gay club of epic proportions. Located en el corazon de Doral, the Coliseum, situated inside of Solare Gardens, is home to some of the best late-night drag shows in the 305. Estephania, TP Lords, and other queen bees of equal fabulocity dominate the stage on XXXtreme Saturdays, while Mega Cabaret Sundays belong to la reina Marytrini and her esteemed guests. These fierce ladies are totally worth the drive to Doral, but the club's ambiance, with more than 40 LED screens y la musica, is a definite plus. Resident DJs Willy, Cotto, and Delma get your party juices flowing with house beats in the main room, and hip-hip and open format in the rest of the Coliseum.
See also: Miami's Six Best Latin Clubs
6. Club Boi
There's absolutely nothing boyish about the beefy hunks at Club Boi. Located at Sandals on the 79th Street causeway, Club Boi has been one of the most bangin' parties in black gay Miami for over a decade. While the men obviously steal the show, the music isn't too bad either. And on Sexy Saturdays, it's Boi 2.0 where those "looking for love," "in need of a good time," and "looking for something fresh" come out of the closet and get down and dirty with DJs Dias and Gavin, who also happen to be the loud and proud owners.
Twist is the mother of all gay clubs. Not only is it one of the longest running hot spots on the beach (it's been around for almost two decades), the two-story "labyrinth of gay" is equipped with seven bars, steamy gaiety dancers, and raging party animals. Downstairs there's the laid back Video Pub, the Garden Area (where on Sundays perfectly-chiseled men are given a free cocktail for baring their chests and get to compete in Pussila's $100 underwear contest), the tiki Bungalow Bar with "a collection of erotic men dancing for your pleasure," and the caliente BarFive flaming with hot Latin vibes. Upstairs is the veranda-style Patio Bar and the upscale Frolic Lounge where you, um, "frolic" with fellow club goers. But the real party goes down in the Main Room with house music blasting from the speakers all night. And since Twist is open daily from 1 p.m. to 5 a.m., "there's never a cover ... always a groove."
Hangover brunch may be the only thing to get you out of bed Sunday mornings, but not at the Palace South Beach. Sure, you'll find pancakes, unlimited mimosas, and other brunch essentials on the Brunchic menu, but the deal breaker here is the fabulous queens of the Palace: the all-day drag show and afternoon T-dance, of course. Throw in a weekly viewing sesh for RuPaul's Drag Race, Drag Madness Fridays with the one and only TP Lords, a One Night Stand with Noel Leon, and Champagne with
celebrity impersonators the Stars, and you'll see why the first gay watering hole on Ocean Drive has reigned over Miami Beach for 26 years. After all, "Every Queen Needs a Palace."
Magnum Lounge may be a spot where older gay gentlemen hang and listen to the piano, but it makes the cut as one of the best for that same exact reason. Sure, younger guys tend to be more enticing with that wild streak of theirs, but nothing beats a George Clooney doppelganger with years of experience under his belt. While you won't find Billy Joel playing "Piano Man" on the keys, Wednesday's Open Mic Cabaret and piano bar requests on Thursdays definitely give it that "New York Style Piano Bar" vibe. Music aside, Magnum has some of the best fried chicken and cheapest dirty martinis in the 305. And after a few drinks, who knows what will happen? Maybe you'll get lucky and meet your next Sugar Daddy.
2. Mova Lounge
From Shout! Mondays where divas unleash their inner Mariah Carey on the mic to Foreplay Fridays with "sexy bartenders and hot shot boys," no one knows how to party like these biatches. There's never a cover at Mova. That means there's more to spend on social lube, which depending on the night can range from hour-long open bar to $12 top shelf liquor. And if you prefer a rendezvous without shrieking ladies by your side, there's always the private entertainment room or rooftop oasis. Mova Lounge recently expanded to Brickell, so if you don't wanna make the drive to SoBe, you can always head Downtown.
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For over a decade-and-a-half, Score has welcomed divas from all walks of life, including Lady Gaga, Paulina Rubio, and other femmes fatales through its doors. Sure, the club relocated from its home of 15 years on Lincoln Road to SoBe's Washington Avenue main stretch in October, but Score continues to host some of the steamiest parties in the 305. Take Planeta Macho. On Tuesday nights, washboard abs and buns of steel dominate the dance floor, while Teresita la Caliente gets frisky with her scandalous ways and killer
wig hair. But what really sets the tone at Score is its hardcore party rep. With nights like WTF Thursdays, Filthy Gorgeous Fridays, and Bigger Saturdays, you never know what you'll see. Partying aside, Score sticks to its values. The nightclub is one of the official spots for Miami Beach Pride Week, which according to their website, "brings together members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community, their friends, allies, and supporters in celebration of the unique spirit and culture of the LGBT community." Guess that's why Score considers itself to be "the quintessential, gay nightclub experience for both locals and visitors."
See also: Score's Ten Most Memorable Moments