Metric at the Fillmore Miami Beach September 28
Some guy gnaws off another guy's face at a bus stop. A college student kills his roommate and eats the kid's heart and brain. A New Jersey man stabs himself 50 times and throws his guts at police. If you haven't noticed, we're clearly facing a zombie apocalypse.
But when exactly will Bruce Campbell come to rescue us with a fistful of boomstick? Maybe never. So be prepared. Crack open your copy of The Zombie Survival Guide, load up Resident Evil on your old PS2, and pop in your George A. Romero Blu-rays.
Oh, and here are eight zombie songs you need to listen to before snorting bath salts.
The Cranberries' "Zombie." No zombie list would be complete without this '90s alt-rock classic. Of course, it's actually about civil strife in Northern Ireland, not undead brain-eaters.
Andrew Jackson Jihad's "Zombie by the Cranberries by Andrew Jackson Jihad." This song is also not about literal zombies. But if you're holed up in a shopping mall surviving the Dawn of the Dead, do like Andrew Jackson Jihad and share a couple of cigarettes with your neighbor.
Rob Zombie's "Living Dead Girl." Sure, zombies may want you only for your brains, but that's better than wanting somebody just for their bangin' bod.
Jonathan Coulton's "Re: Your Brains." Pretty mild-mannered as far as ditties of the undead go, "Re: Your Brains" comes off like a memo from an office-based zombie outbreak: "All we wanna do is eat your brains/We're not unreasonable/I mean, no one's gonna eat your eyes."
The Horrorpops' "Walk Like a Zombie." In the 2004 zombie comedy classic Shaun of the Dead, our heroes briefly escape danger by pretending to be brain-eaters. Looks like Dia de los Muertos aficionados will have a leg up on the rest of us if all hell breaks loose.
The Misfits' "Skulls." Have you ever stopped to consider that Glenn Danzig might be an actual (though extremely muscular) zombie? He's constantly singing about a lot of spooky stuff and talks about wanting skulls and whatnot.
Metric's "Help I'm Alive." OK, maybe this song is about having bad nerves. But maybe Emily Haines's heart is beating like a hammer 'cause she's running and screaming and crying for her life while being chased by an extremely well-dressed mob of hipster zombies!
The Zombies' "Tell Her No." If your beloved greets you by moaning, "Braaaaaaiiiiinnns," and then mindlessly wanders around your love nest, tell her no.
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