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Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival
Photo by Liz Tracy

Muscles were so big at this year's Ultra Music Festival.

Like, they were just as huge a trend as they looked on the shoulders, chests, buttocks, thighs ... You get the idea: Beefcakes ruled the EDM blowout.

We couldn't creep near the Carl Cox text without getting an exposed male nipple in the eye.

Here are 20 of the finest beefcake specimens spotted at Ultra 2014.

See also: Ultra 2014's Top Ten Fashion Trends: Unicorns, Muscles, and More!

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

This muscle man jazzed up his jacked bod with glitter. Very "when in Rome."

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

We asked Superbeef here to show us his superpowers. Women, tongue, the finger, crossed-eyes, and mad muscle is what we got.

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

Would you let this lanky beefcake take a dive in your pond?

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival
George Martinez

Chance the Rapper even got the muscle memo. But he got the one from 1992. What's with the overalls!?

See also: Ultra 2014's 25 Best Bass Faces

 

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

This guy's as serious about his pecs as he is about that tribal tat on his boob.

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

On the Batman scale, he's hotter than Val Kilmer, not as hot as Bale. (Sorry, bro. No one beats the Bale!)

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

Our pupils are as huge as dinner plates looking at this dance-club Adonis.

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

Bow to the King of Ultra! Bow down! And then do some reps while you're down there, you skinny fucks.

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

Bro. No, bro. But bro. Yeah, bro? Bro. GTL!!!

See also: Ultra 2014's Ten Sleaziest T-Shirts

 

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

Nary a hair in sight. These guys listened to Mr. Miyagi when he said, "Wax off."

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

This tropical trio is looking surprisingly unblemished by the effects of extreme heat.

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

From hardest to softest. Tallest to shortest. These four are the party.

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

Look at this angel with big greasy pecs. Best pose of the night.

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

Here's another of the sweetest faces of Ultra, framed by beautifully crafted man boobs. Thank you, bench presses.

See also: Ultra Ravers Answer: What's in Your Fanny Pack?

 

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

Stick your tongue in the air and wave it like you just don't care. OK, put it away.

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

His titty tattoo brings all the raver girls and boys to the yard. Look at them. They're all there to see him! J/K.

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

Their combined 12-pack trump the Miami skyline.

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

Wheeeeeee!!!

Meet the Beefcakes of Ultra Music Festival

And we'll wrap up with a little chest hair for good measure. Sure, the typical beefcake's got a smooth chest. But honestly, we dig a little fuzz.

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