Caution: If you're an old lady looking for a relaxing weekend of easy listening on an ocean liner, you may as well kill yourself. The Mayhem Cruise 2012 is pure brutality.
This inaugural Atlantic-bound metal fest will crush, punish, destroy, and burn down every other music cruise's lineup. And when the Carnival Imagination sails from the Port of Miami to the Bahamas and back on an ocean of blood and squalls of glory, it will reign supreme as the heaviest, most extreme, most headbanging vacation to ever hit the high seas.
Every freak is gonna be off the leash for this one. The ship will host more dark-star power than the Devil playing Black Sabbath.
The lineup is sick as hell, and features 90-minute sets from Lamb of God, Machine Head, Anthrax, Hatebreed, Suicide Silence, and Kingdom of Sorrow.
That's right, 90 minutes of motherfucking Anthrax. The only other way to get that messed up on a cruise ship is eating poisoned buffet food.
Mayhem Cruise 2012 Lineup
-Lamb of God
-Kingdom of Sorrow
-JDevil (Jonathan Davis of Korn)
-DJ Starscream (Sid of Slipknot)
-Girl on Fire
-Born of Osiris
-Clown of Slipknot (Art show and film)
-Legion of Skanks
There will also be showcase sets from your favorite labels: Century Media, Metal Blade Records, Roadrunner Records, and Sumerian Records featuring Otherwise, Girl On Fire, Born of Osiris, Periphery, Gojira, Anti Mortem, Battlecross, and Gypsyhawk shredding your eardrums like a chainsaw.
And every night, there will be exclusive DJ sets by JDevil (Jonathan Davis of Korn) and DJ Starscream (Sid of Slipknot).
But wait, there's more ... The whole cruise is hosted by Jose Mangin of Sirius XM Liquid Metal and it's co-sponsored by Fangoria. That means, there won't only be bone-crushing music aboard this Carnival cruise ship. There's gonna be horrible and violent gore to go with it. And the Clown from Slipknot will even be hosting his own art show and disgusting horror film fest.
Add to that Rockstar Energy drink supplying the comedy with Big Jay Oakerson, The Legions of Skank, Luis J. Gomez, and Dave Smith, performing their dirty jokes in two shows a night, and you've got one kinhell heavy, extreme, headbanging vacation at sea.
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Mayhem Cruise 2012. Friday, December 7, to Monday, December 10. Carnival Imagination, boarding at the Port of Miami, 1015 N. America Way, Miami. $699-$1499. Visit mayhemcruise.com.