Lil B's Seven Best "I Got AIDS" Safe Sex Tips
While onstage at Coachella this past April, goofball swag rapper Lil' B (AKA Brandon McCartney) announced to the world that his new album would be called I'm Gay. And everybody -- in the audience, on the internet, Based Gs in the kitchen doing the cookin' dance -- lost they shit.
In fact, the backlash -- from both homophobic hip-hop heads and a smaller group of people charging that the album's title itself was homophobic -- was so intense that the Based God tried to clarify things by modifying the title to I'm Gay (I'm Happy), which only made everything more confusing.
Now Lil B's is back with more cringe-inducing antics, naming his latest straight-to-the-internet track, gulp, "I Got AIDS."
Looks like he may have learned his lesson about thinking before rapping, though, because the track is actually a dead-serious, legitimately informative Based God public service announcement.
In his signature associative drawl, B assumes the role of a man who has called a friend after receiving an HIV diagnosis, and then runs down a list of precautions, assumptions, and existential realities related to contracting the disease and developing AIDS. Check out the track and review Based God's seven best safe sex tips for happy healthy humping.
The Line: "No protection/I shoulda used a condom/Instead of trusting these women"
The Lesson: WEAR A DOME!
The Line: "Last time I fucked/was my girl/Oh, wait, let me think/Goddamn, it was another."
The Lesson: When it comes to contracting STDs, monogamy beats promiscuity ten times out of ten.
The Line: "I never got tested"
The Lesson: Get tested, especially if you've had any kind of unprotected sexual contact.
The Line: "I never got sick/Plus I looked good"
The Lesson: You never know who is infected. Sometimes they don't even know themselves. And you sure as hell can't tell just by looking at them.
The Line: "My mom said/"Keep your dick in your pants"
The Lesson: Listen to your mama.
The Line: "I was worried about getting her pregnant/Not knowing she had full-blown AIDS"
The Lesson: This goes for you, Pull-Out Paulie. Condoms don't just prevent pregnancy, they also help protect against STDs, thought not always.
The Line: "If I coulda gone back in time/I would have used a condom"
The Lesson: This is worth repeating and even bolding: WEAR A DOME!
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