Kiss us, we're Irish. This Thursday, St. Patrick's creepy little green guy will be overshadowed by larger, more satanic man-monsters when Kiss brings its Hottest Show on Earth Tour to Hard Rock Live. Currently featuring Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, and two other dudes painted to look like Ace Frehley and Peter Criss, the legendary glam-rock sideshow is actively working on a new album. Of course, previously unheard songs won't be the big news at this show; it's an obvious attempt by Kiss to co-opt the commercial potential of a very green holiday.
Over the years, Simmons and his minions have consistently rolled out all kinds of absurd merch, which gets promptly gobbled up by the Kiss Army. And after Thursday's epic event, there will definitely be St. Paddy's Day-themed memorabilia. Just for example, we predict a T-shirt emblazoned with the following limerick: "Kiss wipes its ass with your clovers/Your jig happy party is over/We came on your day/And blew you away/And none of us left the place sober."