Kanye West's I Am God and Ten Other Terrible Album Titles
Confidence is sexy. But someone forgot to tell Kanye West about the rule of subtlety.
Personally, we think the egomaniacal musician is the genius he claims to be. But all things in moderation.
No doubt, his forthcoming album will be a righteous game-changer, inevitably topping charts, and burrowing into our unconscious minds. That's why a modest album title (or maybe something totally bizarre like My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy) would fit nicely.
But alas, Kanye is on that Reading Rainbow, I-can-do-anything tip, and he's considering the working title, I Am God. Sure, it could be seen as offensive. But what's worse is it's not even funny.
Kind of like these other terrible album titles.
Lil Wayne's I Am Not a Human Being 2
First thing first: Fuck Lil Wayne. He's a no-good, jeggings-wearing, pansy-thug half-asser who thinks he can sit on his laurels because Tha Carter III was legitimately awesome. But now he can't stop chugging codeine and inducing seizures long enough to freestyle his way out of Nikki Minaj's rancid, pop-curdling vagina. Second thing second: This album title sucks for the same reason I Am God is terrible: It's not subtle, it's not funny, it's just not true, and he did it twice. Boooooorriiiiing.
Limp Bizkit's Chocolate Starfish and Hot Dog Flavored Water
The only person that thinks Limp Bizkit is a good band is Lil Wayne, which says a lot. But back in the early 2000s, kids in middle school thought they were pretty funny too. Everyone grew up, and it turns out this album title is still fucking stupid. It's some kind of play on a scatological joke, but it would be funnier if they just said This Album Is a Piece of Shit. See, Mr. West? That's how you do meta-funny.
R. Kelly's Trapped in the Closet
Pretty much everything about this album is bad. The concept is bad, the execution is worse, and the storyline is pitiful. All that awful aside, the album title implies R. Kelly is a secret homosexual. Or maybe it's about being a child molester. Let's not forget that R. Kelly pees on babies, y'all. Never forget.
R. Kelly's Chocolate Factory
This dude is really, really bad at naming albums. He's also pretty much illiterate, so maybe that's part of the problem. Did you know he made a YouTube video in which he defines "echo" for his fans? He's all, "an echo is an echo." Thanks, R. Kelly. We're beginning to see how you could actually be dim enough to name your album the same thing third-graders call an "asshole." BTW an asshole is an asshole, in case you were wondering.
George Clinton's Hey Man... Smell My Finger
Wow. How much weed/acid/ecstasy/DMT/space-dust/'80s was Clinton on when he came up with this one? Like, no matter where your finger has been, we're sure it smells funky. No need to test the hypothesis, and we definitely aren't repeating the experiment. Reading this doesn't make us want to put the record on, because we're still planning on having food sometime today. Maybe we'd pluck it from the bargain bin, just for the LOLs.
Guns N' Roses' The Spaghetti Incident?
In journalism school, we were taught not to lead a story with a question unless the inquiry was so compelling the reader would die without getting an answer. The problem is most questions aren't that engaging. This album title is a good example of what not to do. Literally, there is nothing you can do with spaghetti that's so interesting anyone would pause their day and give a shit. Plus, an inquisitive album title implies the artist is unsure of the product. And by 1993, the rest of the world was definitely unsure enough about G N' R.
Barbra Streisand's The Second Barbra Streisand Album
Led Zeppelin did something pretty cool and rebellious when it named its first four consecutive albums. We even thought it was cool when, decades later, Crystal Castles did the same thing. But it comes off strange when beloved songstress Barbra Streisand does it a little differently. Rather than rebellious, it seems unimaginative and not quite quirky enough to be cute. Put a period at the end and an Ever after that, and you've got hilarious gold. But as it is, not so much.
Buckethead's Enter the Chicken
Buckethead is that gimmicky guitarist who was meant to replace Slash in the aforementioned Guns N' Roses. Unfortunately, wearing a funny hat doesn't mean drunk Americans will love you. This crazy white boy thrashes the axe with a KFC bucket on his dome, therefore the stupid album title, we guess. However, all it does is make us think Buckethead wants to bone fowl, and that's just not right.
Trick Daddy's www.thug.com
Trick Daddy luh da kids, and we luh Trick Daddy. He know show to rep his city, and for that, we thank him. We get that he's a thug with a heart of gold, but this is just a case of thug lookin' old. This is some late-'90s, Netscape-level wack shit, and it definitely doesn't stand the test of time. Protip: Don't name a work of art after technology unless you want it to be rendered obsolete five years later. Michael Bay, you should think about that too.
Nickelback's Three-Sided Coin
This doesn't make any kind of sense. It's not funny. It's not poignant. And Nickelback is the worst band ever. We're just going to leave it at that and call it a day.
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