Kanye Quits Twitter! Blame Kim Kardashian and These Five Other Possible Censors
Guys ... Kanye is acting really weird.
In a totally uncharacteristic move, the mouthiest, most self-righteous rapper breathing deleted all his genius tweets, with basically no warning or explanation.
How could he do such a thing? Like, we're gonna let you finish ... But Kanye West is the best tweeter of all time! His 140 characters or less were even worthy of beiing paired with New Yorker cartoons, because they're that insightful and important.
What could possibly have gone wrong? Someone is to blame, and we have a few ideas who it could be.
Bros got a serious hard-on for this perfect bitch's ass. He's been in love with her since she was steady bangin' Ray J for the whole world to see. But it turns out the stepfather of the would-be bootylicious bride can't stand her new beau one bit. Maybe Kim K pulled that pussy-power card on Ye in hopes that a new quitter, less public Yeezy could win ol' Bruce Jenner's heart.
Taylor Swift is blowing up the charts right now, and everyone knows how much she just loves to write songs about the men who've screwed her in life. Kanye has a lot on his plate right now. Maybe he's doing a lil damage control, opting to fly under the radar and toast the douchebags silently for a while.
Kanye's already been cooking that beef with his girl's ex-husband, but the Kim-Kris divorce probably won't even go to court till 2013. Maybe Humphries gave Yeezy an ultimatum. "Stop talking shit. Or that ass is legally mine forever."
George W. Bush
Former President Bush has been out of the picture for four long years, and now is the perfect time to exact his revenge for all that "doesn't care about black people" stuff. We think Yeezy got a visit from the Secret Service one dark and lonesome night. And now he's being forced to shut his trap. Or else ... Guantanamo.
Perhaps, though, it wasn't the ex-Prez. Could Kanye's alleged ties to mysterious and possibly evil political cult, the Illuminati, have caused the sudden collapse of his Twitter universe? Maybe the G.O.O.D. Music founder has more than just a "Cruel Winter" planned. So the Illuminati doesn't want anyone accidentally tweeting any info. Or more dick pics.
Yo, for real doh ... Kanye just broke that shit. They sent his ass a cease-and-desist letter. Bro never even saw it coming.
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