Justin Bieber's "Personal Footage" Stolen: Was the Biebz Hiding Secret Sex Tape?
Life served Justin Bieber a warm glass of tough shit when someone swiped the 18-year-old's computer and digital camera.
"Yesterday during the show, me and my tour manager Josh had some stuff stolen," Bieber tweeted. "Really sucks. People should respect other's property."
The incident happened in Washington on Tuesday night during a concert at the Tacoma Dome, reports Billboard. However, no investigation is underway because a police report has not been filed, says the city's police spokesman.
Is Bieber bypassing authorities because he's hiding something on his hard drive that may incriminate him? We think so.
-- Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) October 10, 2012
Of course, "personal footage" can mean something innocent like G-rated home movies, the kind of amateur clips the Biebz's mom used to post on YouTube, helping catapult the kid-friendly, mother-approved Canadian pop star's career.
But in most circles, "personal footage" is a polite way of referring to a remarkably embarrassing solo porn video that shows you pouring hot candle wax over your testicles while rubbing a Tickle Me Elmo doll on your nipples.
For the sake of America's tweens, let's just hope that someone destroys that file immediately before Bieber becomes the poster child for uncomfortably kinky sexual deviance.
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