OK, Justin Bieber may be an uneducated twerp-derp who barely graduated high school. But damn, he's traveling all over the world and making more money every day than we'll ever see in our entire freaking lifetime.
And just to run this fact in our face, the Biebster brat just announced his Believe tour, with 44 stops in the U.S. and Canada. He'll be joined on the road by his protégé and our new least-favorite pop star Carly Rae Jepsen of "Call Me Maybe" fame.
The whole shebang kicks off in late September and runs until Bieber hits his climax at Miami's own American Airlines Arena on January 26.
When Biebz-baby last rolled through Miami in December 2010, we here at Crossfade weren't allowed to attend for the purposes of a concert review. But if we had, there would've probably been an amazing amount of youthful energy and confusing, pubescent sexual tension stuffed into the AAA.
This time around, little Bieber is (almost) all grown-up and sure to unleash a new level of urban, white-boy dance moves on the crowd. It should be like watching a boyish, albino Usher dance around and sing about taking us to prom, which is totally our wet dream.
Will this be the tour Bieber gets shirtless? Will he be able to rap and crotch-grab his way into adulthood by the time he reaches SoFla's sandy beaches?
We'll have to wait until next year to find out. But get your tix on June 2.
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Justin Bieber's Believe Tour Dates
September 29 Jobing.com Arena, Glendale, AZ
September 30 MGM Grand, Las Vegas, NV
October 2 STAPLES Center, Los Angeles, CA
October 3 STAPLES Center, Los Angeles, CA
October 5 Save Mart Center, Fresno, CA
October 6 The Oracle Arena, Oakland, CA
October 8 Rose Garden, Portland, OR
October 9 Tacoma Dome, Tacoma, WA
October 12 Scotiabank Saddledome, Calgary, AB
October 15 Rexall Place, Edmonton, AB
October 16 Credit Union Centre, Saskatoon, SK
October 18 MTS Centre, Winnipeg, MB
October 20 Target Center, Minneapolis, MN
October 21 BMO Harris Bradley Center, Milwaukee WI
October 23 Allstate Arena, Rosemont, IL
October 24 Allstate Arena, Rosemont, IL
October 26 Sprint Center, Kansas City, MO
October 27 Scottrade Center, St. Louis, MO
October 29 American Airlines Center, Dallas, TX
October 30 Toyota Center, Houston, TX
November 1 FedExForum, Memphis, TN
November 2 KFC Yum! Center, Louisville, KY
November 4 Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, PA
November 5 Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
November 9 IZOD Center, East Rutherford, NJ
November 10 TD Garden, Boston, MA
November 12 Barclays Center, Brooklyn, NY
November 20 CONSOL Energy Center, Pittsburgh, PA
November 21 The Palace of Auburn Hills, Auburn Hills, MI
November 23 Scotiabank Place, Kanata, ON
November 26 Bell Centre, Montreal, QC
November 28 Madison Square Garden, New York, NY
December 1 Rogers Centre, Toronto, ON
January 5 EnergySolutions Arena, Salt Lake City, UT
January 7 Pepsi Center, Denver, CO
January 9 BOK Center, Tulsa, OK
January 10 Verizon Arena, N. Little Rock, AR
January 12 AT&T Center, San Antonio, TX
January 15 New Orleans Arena, New Orleans, LA
January 16 BJCC Arena, Birmingham, AL
January 18 Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, TN
January 19 Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, NC
January 22 Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, NC
January 23 Philips Arena, Atlanta, GA
January 25 Amway Center, Orlando, FL
January 26 American Airlines Arena, Miami, FL
Justin Bieber's Believe Tour with Carly Rae Jepsen. Saturday, January 26, 2013. American Airlines Arena, 601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami. Tickets go on sale for $39.50 to $89.50 plus fees at 10 a.m. on Saturday, June 2, via ticketmaster.com. Call 786-777-1000 or visit aaarena.com.