Less than 20 days from now, Jesus Christ will turn the big 2-0-1-2, though he doesn't look a day over 33.
Around the world, Christians will celebrate his birth with an appalling display of hyper-consumerism and overconsumption. And of course, crappy Christmas music.
However, one track that isn't likely making it onto the holiday party playlist is "Jesus Stag Night Club," a tongue-in-cheek track by British indie group Babybird featuring Johnny Depp.
Unsurprisingly, the song -- which tells the story of a Jesus look-alike who passes out drunk after a wild bachelor party -- is ruffling the Christian Coalition's palm branches. Needless to say, it's also earned Depp a one-way ticket to hell.
The song's lyrics tell the tale of meeting a Christ-like rebel at a pub: "Saw a man in a bar with his hair like a lady/Bloody thorns 'round his ear like he was a crazy/He had holes in his hands and a cross for a spine/Crushed a berry in his Perrier and called it wine."
"He said, 'There's great sadness in life but don't sit there and blub/Here's some tickets for your friends to the Jesus Stag Night Club.'"
Crossfade thinks the track's imagery is killer and the sparkling water-to-wine reference is brilliant. Lee Douglas on the other hand, spokesperson for the Christian Coalition, thinks "Jesus Stag Night Club" is totally blasphemous trash.
"I'm sure [Depp] thinks he's being very funny but he's simply a disgrace," Douglas tells the Daily Star. "One day, Johnny Depp and his cronies will face the judgment of our Lord and they will burn in hell for this filth."
A separate Christian watch group, Focus on the Family, also blasted Depp and called the song "a slap in the face to Christians all over the world."
That's funny, we figured a bigger slap to Christianity's collective face would involve Catholic priests and pedophiliac cover-ups.
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