We all remember those unforgivably awful words uttered by John Mayer, the ones that made tasteful folks around the planet cringe: "I wanna run through the halls of my high school; I wanna scream at the top of my lungs!"
Oh, and then there were those other horrifying words printed in Playboy, the ones that placed Mayer in rich-boy exile on a Montana ranch. "My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a fuckin' David Duke cock." Which line is more offensive? "No Such Thing" lyrics or his racist genitals? We know: Your ears say one thing; your heart and head say another.
The pop-singing cornball was most definitely a douche during that fateful 2010 interview, but since his time in retreat, he's done a lot more than just add a cowboy hat to his wardrobe. He's reflected upon the effects of his youthful bloated ego. In a 2012 interview with NPR's All Things Considered promoting his last album, Born and Raised, he explained — without excusing his embarrassing behavior and with great remorse — that he said those things because he "didn't want to be boring." Mayer also told Rolling Stone in January, "I abused that ability to express myself, to the point where I was expressing things that weren't true to my thoughts." So he's been keeping his trap more closely guarded.
It seems Mayer is back on point these days. His music still blows, but his repentance has softened our heart. So we present the five most endearing moments in Mayer's public life to show that the guy with the bigoted crotch ain't all bad.
He might marry Katy Perry. Marrying anyone after Russell Brand seems like risky business, doesn't it? Pretty sure we all sense that the funny Brit could turn even Chelsea Clinton into a crack-smoking hooker after one date. But rumors say Mayer's relationship with Ms. Firework may end in wedding bells. A brave and chivalrous move indeed.
His Chappelle's Show appearance. We all know John Mayer's talents lie in his handling of the guitar and less in his creation of quality tunes. Remember that time he was on Chappelle's Show with Questlove? Mayer helped Dave prove that white people can dance — to the electric guitar, at least. Treating humans like wildlife, they stalked them in their natural habitats to witness the power of the gee-tar. Who better to demonstrate that than this lily-white string-strangler? "Memorable" doesn't do that sketch justice.
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John Mayer is himself a funny man. Mayer had a VH1 show called John Mayer Has a TV Show, and believe it or not, the crooner proved himself an amusing dude. Mayer dressed up like a bear, harassing his fans before a concert with a bullhorn, yelling: "Did you know John Mayer pees sitting down?" and "True or false: 'Your Body Is a Wonderland' was written for a guy." Can you imagine Kanye doing the same thing? Don't let Mayer get in his zone. He might just make you laugh.
He loves his parents and his new home. Mayer has had two surgeries to correct a granuloma on his vocal cords. He hadn't sung for two years, but he used the first public singing appearance to raise $100,000 to benefit the firefighters who battled the Pine Creek fire that ravaged the area near his Montana home.
Not only that, but he loves his mama and his papa. Once when out with his mom, someone yelled out: "What do you think about your son?" Mayer said, and TMZ recorded, "I find that inference very offensive. This is my date, not my mother." Then he did this adorbs interview with his dad for People in 2007 in which he called his pops "the most upstanding man I've ever met."
He put the Prancercise lady in a video. We like when a superfamous guy features one of our local treasures in a national video. And we also like the idea that "Paper Doll" is a poetic exposé about Taylor Swift. It makes the part of us that appreciates justice raise her hands in triumph. Back atcha, Tay.