Jesse Perez's Ten Ass-Clapping Tracks for the Perfect Hurricane Party

Ass-claps and monster storms -- two noteworthy phenomena that define Miami. And there's no better way to get your fix than a hurricane party celebrating Irene's apparent attack on our town.

If there were an "ass-clapping" genre, local DJ, producer, and label owner Jesse Perez would top its charts. His latest production says it all: "Wuz Up Wit Them Big Booty Girls." So Crossfade asked the ass-clap guru himself to pick the ten best ass-clapping tracks for the perfect hurricane bash.

Warning: The following contains mature content and expletives suitable only for true Miami rats.

10. Uncle Al's "Hoes-N-Da-House"

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"They say the freaks come out at night. Uncle Al says the hoes come out to this shit.

Ass-clapping approved!"

9. Eazy-E's "Only If You Want It"

"On my 18th birthday, my boys took me to a strip joint, the Pink Pussycat. They picked out this bubble-booty chongita to give me a lap-dance, while "Only If You Want It" played. That night, I learned that Chris Rock hadn't been to Hialeah yet."

8. La Peña's "Chop the Bang-Sang"

"This track says: Make your ass clap while you ride. Jam!"

7. Shabba Ranks's "Mr. Loverman"

"When I was in third grade, I wore those classic static tapered jeans that most kids wore in the early '90s. My mom decided to stitch this corny patch of a grease-haired fox with the word Loverman running below it onto the jeans. Being that it was one of my few pairs of pants, I wore it to a United Way dance. At some point, the DJ dropped Shabba's "Loverman." I thought it would be the perfect moment to make a move on this girl I had a crush on. But I punked out and just continued doing cartwheels and the occasional "Go Ninja! Go Ninja! Go!" dance with the rest of my boys. If I could re-live that moment, Loverman would be banned from school dances. Grind Fest!"

6. Kid 'n Play's "Ain't Gonna Hurt Nobody"

"This shit's a jam. Might not be 100-percent ass-clapping material. But like Play says in his lyrics: 'This will be a night you won't soon forget.' A definite party starter. May lead to better things."



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