At least one member of every reality show has to come out with a token pop single after his or her 15 minutes are over. It's a rule. So cross this to-do off the Jersey Shore cast list with the latest painful announcement.
Surprisingly, it's not Pauly D, who, as a semi-legitimate house DJ has a tenuous connection to the music industry. Nope, it's Angelina, the "Kim Kardashian of Staten Island" who you probably forgot after she stomped off the second episode of the series.
RadarOnline reported this chilling piece of information on Sunday:
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Instead of wild drunken nights and bar brawls at the Shore, Angelina is excited to focus on her career.... The reality TV star is making her debut as a pop singer. "My song 'All About Me' is coming out," she told RadarOnline.com. "My Phone application 'Score A Shore Girl' is out," says Angelina, and her talent agency CEG has her booked for appearances all across the country.
Considering Angelina has an outer-borough accent that could cut glass, it'll probably just be Auto-Tuned to oblivion anyways ... much like Countess LuAnn's "Money Can't Buy You Class," perhaps. (We find that strange, disco-set bit of advice weirdly charming, and it was actually released by Ultra Records. Still, it ranks much lower in the pantheon of reality-show song hilarity than Kim Zolciak's "Tardy for the Party.")
While we cringed with gritted teeth through the first season of the show, we may have to skip the Miami-set second one. Seeing the Orange Ones on our home turf -- well, maybe the touristy parts of our home turf we like to mock -- may just be too painful. In a bit of a spoiler, though, RadarOnline mentions that Angelina again makes a "dramatic" exit from the show in the new season, so at least it's unlikely her track will score any air time that way.