At least one member of every reality show has to come out with a token pop single after his or her 15 minutes are over. It's a rule. So cross this to-do off the Jersey Shore cast list with the latest painful announcement.
Surprisingly, it's not Pauly D, who, as a semi-legitimate house DJ has a tenuous connection to the music industry. Nope, it's Angelina, the "Kim Kardashian of Staten Island" who you probably forgot after she stomped off the second episode of the series.
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RadarOnline reported this chilling piece of information on Sunday:
Instead of wild drunken nights and bar brawls at the Shore, Angelina is excited to focus on her career.... The reality TV star is making her debut as a pop singer. "My song 'All About Me' is coming out," she told RadarOnline.com. "My Phone application 'Score A Shore Girl' is out," says Angelina, and her talent agency CEG has her booked for appearances all across the country.
Considering Angelina has an outer-borough accent that could cut glass, it'll probably just be Auto-Tuned to oblivion anyways ... much like Countess LuAnn's "Money Can't Buy You Class," perhaps. (We find that strange, disco-set bit of advice weirdly charming, and it was actually released by Ultra Records. Still, it ranks much lower in the pantheon of reality-show song hilarity than Kim Zolciak's "Tardy for the Party.")
While we cringed with gritted teeth through the first season of the show, we may have to skip the Miami-set second one. Seeing the Orange Ones on our home turf -- well, maybe the touristy parts of our home turf we like to mock -- may just be too painful. In a bit of a spoiler, though, RadarOnline mentions that Angelina again makes a "dramatic" exit from the show in the new season, so at least it's unlikely her track will score any air time that way.