After seven years at this wonderful newspaper, I'm jumping out of the club parade and into a seminormal job. Unfortunately for me, now I'll actually have to be up in the morning. This fine piece of work is my last column. My stint as nightlife guru has ended. My replacement, Larry Boytano, will serve as master of the club-circuit ceremonies from now on. As it's my last day, I sure don't feel like working. I'd rather chat idly with my cronies. If you want to do the same tomorrow, check out Strictly Salsa, the new Friday night at Starfish (1427 West Ave., Miami Beach, 673-1717). Ambitious super-talker Debbie Ohanian turns her ultrahip restaurant into a one-night-a-week salsa fest with dancing and drinking and plenty of schmoozing. The festivities begin at 9:00 p.m.; mojitos and cigars abound. For those of you who prefer a whiskey-and-cigarette crowd, head north to that legendary bastion of big hair, the Button South (100 Ansin Blvd., Hallandale, 954-454-3301) this Friday, May 30, when ZETA-4 (WZAT-FM 94.9) hosts a friendly competition in which some of South Florida's best bands compete for a chance to land a tune on a locally produced compilation CD. Six bands a night compete on four consecutive Fridays for one of the twelve slots on the CD. The competition started last Friday, but every week should prove to supply some hot and heated rock and roll. Local bands Flic, Trophy Wife, Nation of Fear, Elizabeth Anne, Suzy Creamcheese, and Endo are scheduled to perform. The first band goes on at 10:00 p.m. Come cheer on your sister's boyfriend's cousin's band or just sit back and enjoy the tunes.
Bee Hive, "Acid Jazz Night." Catch a buzz and inject some funky fusion with DJ Cartel spinning the wheel in the laid-back back-yard garden. 630 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach, 538-7484.
Berlin Bar, "Jest." A visual and audio bonanza with dance, disco, and house music accompanied by sexy male and female dancers and martinis galore. 661 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, 674-9300.
Liquid, "Bass Mint." The NFA runs three rooms that blast you with three different sounds. With acid jazz, hip-hop, reggae, and house rhythms, who needs to go anywhere else? 1439 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, 532-9154.
Groove Jet, "Groove Girl." Eclectic locals gather for mayhem and mischief with resident DJs Carlos Menendez and Chilly spinning musical fun for everyone. 323 23rd St., Miami Beach, 532-2002.
Marsbar, "Bovine Sex Club." Drink specials and party girls dancing in a cage high above the floor are the highlights of the evening, with DJ Alex Gutierrez at the controls. 8505 Mills Dr. (Town & Country Center), Kendall, 271-6909.
Desperado, "KISS Country Live." All the dance mixes of your favorite line-dancing tunes in a bull-riding, cowboy-hat-wearing setting; with KISS Country personality Gator Brooks hosting. 2520 S. Miami Rd., Fort Lauderdale, 954-463-2855.
Fat Kat's Pool Bar. The pampered pool palace gets together with sister club Iguana for a night of cool cats and hot grooves. 8505 Mills Dr. (Town & Country Center), Kendall, 274-8090.
Salvation. Revolving party themes keep you guessing as the largest party for men who love men takes over, with an open bar from 10:00 to midnight; dancemaster DJ Abel is at the wheels of steel. 1771 West Ave., Miami Beach, 673-6508.
Cameo Theatre. Get into the groove with a jammin' blend of reggae, R&B, and house music pumped out by DJ Waggy Tee. Tight and heavy sounds for the masses. 1445 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, 532-0922.
Kitchen Club. DJ Carlos Saint Germain churns out gothic, dark-wave, and retro tunes for the paint-it-black crowd. 11220 Biscayne Blvd., Miami Shores, 754-0777.
821, "Jet Set." Fasten your seat belts and blast off into another world of cocktails and mean lounge music. 821 Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach, 534-0887.
Bash, "Disco Night." The best in disco, swing, funk, and soul, with French DJ Christian Hernant. 655 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, 538-8858.
La Covacha, "La Carcel." A Cuban country roadhouse packed with patrons dancing to Latin rock. The club where a good time is always the first priority. 10730 NW 25th St., West Dade, 594-3717.
Gables Diner. Revel in the blues as local dude Fleet Starbuck and his Blues Duo play smooth tunes for an appreciative crowd. 2320 Galiano St., Coral Gables, 567-0330.
Jazid. DJs Justin and Chilly throw it down for an appreciative hip-hop and acid-jazz-loving crowd. 1302 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, 673-9372.
Tobacco Road, "Swamp Boogie." Always, always on Monday you can catch Iko-Iko's acoustic jam and down a Samuel Adams or two. 626 S. Miami Ave., 374-1198.
Park Central Hotel, "Songwriters in the Round." Relax and enjoy as national and local talent come together, or showcase your own bad self in the songwriting game at an early open mike. 640 Ocean Dr., Miami Beach, 899-7346.
The Grind, "Open-Mike Night." Nicholas the Storyteller narrates a night of poetry and music as locals open their hearts and mouths for some down-to-earth pleasures. 12573 Biscayne Blvd., North Miami, 899-9979.
Stella Blue, "Ladies Reggae Night." Get irie at an island-jam ladies night with live music by Safari. 1661 Meridian Ave., Miami Beach, 532-4788.
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Society Hill, "For a Better World." Cheap drinks for a fun-loving crowd with hip-hop, reggae, and R&B dispensed by DJ Chief. 627 Washington Ave., Miami Beach, 534-9993.
-- By Liz Martinez
Send information regarding special "one-nighters" to "Into the Night." Fax material to 571-7678 or call 571-7572.