Think it's kinda redonkulous that the Dirty South's king of cartoon rap, Ludacris, has been tapped to host the afterparty for a classy Saturday night with the Florida Marlins, Arizona Diamondbacks, and America's pastime?
Well, you're wrong 'cause Mr. Chris Bridges and baseball go together like Conjure Cognac and Crackerjack or sizzurp and steroids.
It's a perfect match.
Honestly, screw "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and "America the Beautiful," we just wanna hear "Move Bitch," "Pimpin' All Over the World," and "Sex Room." There's no need for dorky bullshit like the chicken dance when you can hump the bleacher seats, freak the pitching machine, and grind up on a sweaty hotdog cart.
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So go grab your bashed-up aluminum bat, get ripped on some drank, crash the gates at Sun Life Stadium, steal a seat down the right-field line, and start a 30,000-person chant taunting Diamondback outfielder Justin Upton's bubble butt: "Just seen a big ol' ass! It's Saturday! Sticky, icky, icky, icky! Shake it, Justin! Shake what your mama gave ya!"
Make Luda proud.
Ludacris. Saturday, June 11. Sun Life Stadium, 2267 Dan Marino Blvd., Miami Gardens. The game between the Florida Marlins and the Arizona Diamondbacksstarts at 7:10 p.m. Tickets cost $12 to $325 plus fees via ticketmaster.com. Call 305-623-6100 or visit sunlifestadium.com.