Friday, February 12, 2010 at 3 p.m.
Last night's New Times
banger got off to a lukewarm start. But by 10:30 p.m., the crowd was finally ready to fucking party. With unknown quantities of free Barefoot pinot grigio
and a couple hundred pisscups of Magic Hat #9
turning their brains to sponges, people shed their inhibitions and slipped on costumes.
An alligator dude, some kind of cannibal, two sexpots (one with fake tits, the other with a shaved head and flat chest), a gorilla, and Notorious Nastie
all jumped onstage to help announce the arrival of Bermudan spaceman Otto Von Schirach
. Booze splashed to the floor, destroying designer shoes. Cameras got smashed. And everybody lit up a Swisher
, tossed a triangle, and bumped bodies.
Soon, though, the bacchanalia got shut down. At 10:47 p.m., Otto and crew went silent. And despite early reports, it wasn't a noise complaint that killed the fun. According to City of Miami Police officer Gutierrez: "We didn't shut it down. It's not even 11. College security pulled the plug because of intoxicated people passed out on the premises."
Too bad those drunks never heard the saying: "When in Rome, puke so you can keep partying."