Five Reasons Today's Rappers Are Fakes
Hip-hop has hit a new low. It's nothing but a flashy circus full of liars, cheats, and corporate scum. They all want to talk big shit about coming from the streets or representing the hood, but too many have never seen an actual corner in their lives.
Not only are they liars, but they're actually hurting the people they pretend to speak for. And they're not even that good at rhyming!
Don't believe us? Here, let us spell it out for you.
They Are Lyrically Lazy
Umm, has anyone been listening to the words in rap songs lately? The point of rapping is to show how witty and quick on your feet you can be, but all these wannabes are copping each other's lines and rhyming words with themselves. Soulja Boy is the worst, but he's kind of a joke anyway. What about Nicki Minaj? You really think saying "You a Stupid Hoe" over and over is a chorus? Have you heard Future's "Chosen One"? The chorus is straight up eight lines that end with "one." Fuck that shit, you're not even trying.
They're Shameless Corporate Shills
Are we watching music videos? Or just commercials? It's hard to tell anymore, because every rapper with a corporate sponsorship spends half the video mindlessly flashing a logo in our faces. It's not even clever! Every time we see DJ Khaled in anything, almost every shots is of GIV vodka bottles. There's Pitbull and his damn Kodak cameras. But the absolute worst is Will.i.am. He tries to come off as futuristic and unique, but he's just a monster created by cell phones companies, clothing companies, liquor brands, computers conglomerates -- anything that will pay that greedy bastard.
They Almost Never Really Had It That Hard
Here they are, rapping about their hard lives on the street, selling drugs and running from the cops. But too often, they were never actually 'bout that life. Plies? He's one of the most ignorant rappers on the scene, but he's from a suburb in Fort Myers. We went to college with kids from the same effing town. Fakery is rampant. J. Cole even raps about it on his song "Cole Summer": "A shame when you learn the ins and outs of the game/And reminisce on little Jermaine in the South/Rappin' out loud, with all the niggas that's cool to you/Just to realize that all them niggas was foolin' you/And they ain't who they said they were/Talk about the streets, but nigga that ain't really where they were/Acting just like they were there." Just be aware.
They Promote Spending, Not Saving
This is the most shameful thing about modern rap music. Forget that they're lying about their past, are terrible rhymers, and promote corporate buffoonery. Here they are, rapping to an audience of wannabe hustlers, impoverished Great Recession millions, and all these hip-hoppers do is talk about spending money.
Drake: "Money coming, money going, ain't like you can take it with you." Nicki Minaj: "If it ain't got a comma on the price tag ... I mean but then again who looks at the price tag?" And Rick Ross has a song called "B.M.F (Blowing Money Fast)." Meanwhile, the fans are in debt and get conned into believing the best way to get rich is becoming a rapper, pimp, or drug dealer. WTF is that about? Isn't rap supposed to help the poor living their life in the streets? What happened to "The Message" of Grandmaster Flash? His five were Furious, not Frivolous. You all sound like you walked out of Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World," and if you don't know what that means, read a book.
They Don't Even Have All This Money Anyway
To add insult to injury, most of these rappers aren't nearly as rich as they claim. Recently, Rick Ross couldn't pay a $90,000 Rolex bill, so he had some litigation coming his way. And remember when tax time came around last year, they were falling all over themselves to get the IRS to write off stripper money, as if they have to pop bottles and pay tuition to sell records. But we're not just speculating. Bloomberg Businessweek sat and crunched some data, churning out this little picture of reality. It seems only Dr. Dre and Ludacris qualify for the "humble" category. At least Wiz Khalifa is pretty honest. The rest of you, we're disappointed.
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