Remember Lil Wayne's rock album, Rebirth?
Well, it was the only idea worse than Hulk Hogan's rap album. Nevertheless, Weezy is gearing up for a sequel. And we imagine it's going to be two times the shitfest.
Dude just released Tha Carter IV, the weakest album of the entire franchise. He needs to be going hard and weird! Not revisiting My Chemical Romance.
After the cut, see Crossfade's top five reasons Rebirth 2 will be the worst album of the year.
5. The Auto-tune Is Going to Suck
Crossfade is not an extremist organization. We don't typically get into absolutes. But we absolutely cannot stand the T-Pain impression Wayne has been trying to do ever since "Lollipop." You're supposed to be the Best Rapper Alive, man! Not an R&B version of The Singularity.
4. The Nirvana Namedropping Is Going to Suck
For some reason, Weezy thinks that everyone will believe he's really a "headbanger" if he incessantly references Nirvana. Just take his most recent VMA commercial, which also features Birdman Junior donning an exquisite pair of ska pants. The clip reminds us of Jim Carrey's appearance at the '99 MTV Movie Awards, during which he lamented to the stations producers, "Would it kill you to play a little Foghat?" Weezy needs to learn the classics.
3. The Album's Emo Stylings Are Going to Suck
Goddammit! If Weezy ever wants to truly reclaim his crown, he's going to need to start paying someone to tell him, "NO! THAT'S A BAD IDEA!"
2. The Actual Rock Music Is Going to Suck
Oh yeah, BTW, not a single riff on this entire album will be worth shit!
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1. The Guitar Fakery Is Going to Suck
Posing with a guitar is one thing. But pretending you can play it is quite possibly the most embarrassing thing any rapper has ever done in the history of hip-hop, Earth, the Universe, etc.