The 2011 MTV Video Music Awards show was packed full of "entertaining" surprises.
It was revealed that Beyonce is preggers, Rick Ross paints quietly like Bob Ross, and Rebecca Black doesn't know how to do the Dougie. Of course, the confounding fashion decisions were perhaps the most memorable part of it all.
If you had a pulse, you were alerted by sunrise to the fact that Lady Gaga had donned a greasy pomp and brought out her dude voice for a nightlong appearance by male alter-ego Joe Calderone. Smoking a cig and acting about as tough as a musical theater major, she opened up the awards fully clothed. Perhaps the one real question about Mother, uh, Mr. Monster's getup is: Where'd her boobs go?
Katy Perry accepted her award for Best Video of the Year wearing a cube of cheddar on her cranium. Though the geometry and Mad Men-eque look was taken straight off Dior's Fall 2011 couture collection, it works on Perry's curvy body. We forgive her for making our tummy grumble.
Justin Bieber came in full lesbian attire last night to the VMAs. From the mom 'do to the girl glasses, the Biebz really made a statement. That he is indeed not a boy, not yet a woman. The YSL pin really did him in, though. Have you ever seen anyone but an old white lady or a very gay New Yorker wearing a pin like that? You haven't, because it's not done. Biebz went out of his way to thank both God and Jesus in his acceptance speech. Once he discovers his true self, he'll be thanking the goddess.
Looks like Miley Cyrus borrowed her VMA gown from the closet of Candice Bergen.
No doubt there are like 10,000 references we're not getting here. Or maybe Nicki Minaj got drunk at Toys "R" Us and threw this outfit together. Is she a Cosplay guerilla? Why is she covering her face? Ms. Minaj may look like the toy box at a kindergarten class. But it's OK because she acted right when Butthead asked her to participate in a threesome with he and Beavis.
Wait, didn't we go to high school with her? Just kidding. 305 represent!
Gotta say, love the Mickey Mouse dress. It's Nicki Minaj's failed fashion statement, just worn by another person. Yes to the dress. But no and WTF to the hair. Kreayshawn wore a black curly wig on over her blonde bangs. Seriously, this better not be an Amy Winehouse fashion tribute.
Much like yours truly, Tyler the Creator and his shittalking Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All love the kitties! Their 2011 tour map has cute little feline faces in the states they'll be visiting this year. It was thus fitting that a psychedelic gato would be plastered on his chest as he yelled out fuck at least 20 times from the MTV stage.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
We started with Gaga reborn as a man. So let's end with young beard Selena Gomez dressed in funeral gear. From the boobs up, this dress is all delicate and Galliano. But from the ribs down, it is Elvira's Christmas. Cruelties aside, Selena did a hell of a professional job on the Red Carpet and VMA stage, in stark contrast to an awkward uncomfortable Kim Kardashian. Selena, dump the Biebz and take back your mom's YSL pin. You're too good for him!