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Exxxotica 2012: Top Ten Porn Parties in Miami This Weekend

Under normal circumstances, partying with a porn star might mean all kinds of DP, TP, ATM, RTF, and money shots. It would also require a clean STD test, fresh bikini wax, and 60ml tube of spermicidal lube.

But this weekend, the Exxxotica 2012 adult entertainment expo has come to town for three full days of porn-y panel discussions, DVD and dildo signings, fake orgasm contests, plastic surgery seminars, and sex toy instructional courses at the Miami Beach Convention Center.

So ... Between now and Sunday, when we say partying with a porn star, we don't mean fucking on camera for immediate broadcast across the World Wide Web. Although, there will be occasional nudity.

Here are the top ten porn parties in Miami Beach this weekend.

Shaking D'Ass at SoBe Live.
Shaking D'Ass at SoBe Live.
Via Ass2Waist.com

Foreplay with Cherokee D'Ass. Friday, May 18, 10 p.m., SoBe Live, 1203 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-725-3353; sobelivesouthbeach.com. Tickets cost $20 to $40 via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Technically speaking, the proper terminology for booty-centric foreplay is analingus. It is also commonly described as rimming or butt-munching. But tonight, this D'Ass just wants to dance. Check out Crossfade's interview with Ms. Cherokee about love-making music.

Porn star Tori Black is also a professional peeler.
Porn star Tori Black is also a professional peeler.

Tori Black, Lexi Belle, Alexis Texas, and Tori Lane. Friday, May 18, 10 p.m., Club Madonna, 1527 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-534-2000; clubmadonna.com. Admission costs $20 at the door. Ages 18 and up. According to the Internet Adult Film Database, sex pros Tori Black (2007-present), Lexi Belle (2006-present), Alexis Texas (2007-present), and Tori Lane (2004-present) have a combined 28 years of pole-riding experience. Watch these sexperts ply their trade at SoBe's only strip club.

Free Joanna Angel! Uh, from clothing.
Free Joanna Angel! Uh, from clothing.
Via HollyRandall.com

AVN and Joanna Angel. Friday, May 18, 11 p.m., Mansion, 1235 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-695-8411; mansionmiami.com. Tickets cost $30 via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. If Western Civilization wasn't so fucking uptight about sex, self-described "punk porn princess" Joanna Angel would party in public totally naked, except for a pair of spike heels and some tattoos. Unfortunately, indecent exposure remains a crime and Ms. Angel continues to squeeze into socially acceptable "slutty outfits."

Roxy Reynolds's booty got bass.
Roxy Reynolds's booty got bass.

Roxy Reynolds, Ice LaFoxx, Beauty Dior, and Candace Von. Friday, May 18, 10 p.m., and Saturday, December 31, 11 p.m., King of Diamonds, 17800 NE 5th Ave., North Miami Beach; 305-999-9500; kingofdiamondmiami.com. Cover costs $60 and up at the door. Ages 21 and up. Just imagine if the epic, clapping asses of Roxy Reynolds, Ice LaFoxx, Beauty Dior, and Candace Von got together to record a booty music mixtape ... The individual tracks would be titled "Oil Dat Big Ass Up," "Mami Culo Grande," "Assiliciously Delicious," and "Fuck It Like It's Hot." And KOD's Disco Rick would fund the official fan club.

WTF is Black Thought thinking?
WTF is Black Thought thinking?
Photo by Chad Griffith

The Roots' Black Thought at Exxxotica Miami Beach. Saturday, May 19, 9:30 p.m., Miami Beach Convention Center, 1901 Convention Center Dr., Miami Beach; 267-909-9760; exxxoticaexpo.com. Tickets cost $32 to $149 plus fees. Unlike 2 Live Crew's Fresh Kid Ice and Brother Marquis (AKA the musical headliners at Exxxotica 2011), The Roots Crew All-Stars aren't particularly famous for stuff like "Pop[ping] That Pussy" or "Throw[ing] the D." But given the horny leer on Black Thought's face (see above), we'd say he's planning some kinda superfreaky shit.

 

The Blonde Connection: Sex professional Amy Brooke and drug smuggler Mickey Munday.
The Blonde Connection: Sex professional Amy Brooke and drug smuggler Mickey Munday.

Cocaine Cowboys' Mickey Munday and XXX Stars. With Amy Brooke and Eden Adams. Saturday, May 19, 11 p.m., Trio on the Bay, 1601 79th Street Cswy., Miami Beach; 305-866-1234; trioonthebay.com. Free admission for Exxxotica ticketholders. Ages 21 and up. After smuggling tons of coke between Colombia and America, evading the Feds by disappearing into the Everglades, and eventually spending a few years in the penitentiary, original Cocaine Cowboy and spoken-word artist Mickey Munday has finally retired to lead a quiet life of leisure. Like, uh, you know, hobnobbing with porn stars all night.

Go learn some pole-based aerobics with Bella.
Go learn some pole-based aerobics with Bella.

Belladonna. Saturday, May 19, 11 p.m., Club Madonna, 1527 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-534-2000; clubmadonna.com. Admission costs $20 at the door. Ages 18 and up. Even a ten-time AVN Award-winning adult film actress, porn auteur, and XXX studio exec needs a few fun hobbies. Like making homemade wheatgrass juice. Or being "absolutely 100,000% in LOVE with aerial silks." Or teaching nude, pole-based aerobics on weekends.

Ms. Briana Bliss, rear view.
Ms. Briana Bliss, rear view.
Via BangBros.com

Climax with Briana Bliss. Saturday, May 19, 10 p.m., SoBe Live, 1203 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-725-3353; sobelivesouthbeach.com. Tickets cost $20 to $40 via wantickets.com. Ages 21 and up. Climax? We could be dealing with a case of premature (female) ejaculation here. After all, there's still an entire day and two porn parties till Exxxotica 2012 officially reaches the squirting point. Yet, as SoBe Live's DJ Nasty says, "[MS. BRIANA BLISS] IS A PORNSTAR. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT MAY HAPPEN. OH OH OH."

Go pingin' and pornin' with Joslyn James.
Go pingin' and pornin' with Joslyn James.

Happy Ending Ping-Porn Tournament With Joslyn James. Sunday, May 20, 9 p.m., Chalk Ping-Pong & Billiards Lounge, 1234 Washington Ave., Miami Beach; 305-532-8662; chalkmiami.com. Admission is free. Open bar with Exxxotica ticket or RSVP@chalkmiami.com. Ages 21 and up. Grab your paddle and a couple of balls ... It's time for a lil' ping-porn. And according to Tiger Woods' ex, top-notch sexter, and table games aficionado Joslyn James, there are two keys to coming out on top: (1) "You have to psyche out your opponent"; and (2) "It's all about how you work your hands."

Share a (figuratively) postcoital cigarette with Charmane Star at the Catalina.
Share a (figuratively) postcoital cigarette with Charmane Star at the Catalina.

Exxxotica's Official Afterparty. Hosted by Charmane Star, Kagney Linn Karter, Allie Haze. Sunday, May 20, 8 p.m., Maxine's Bistro and Bar at The Catalina Hotel & Beach Club, 1732 Collins Ave., Miami Beach; 305-674-1160; catalinahotel.com. Admission costs $20 at the door. Ages 21 and up. Spending three whole days at the Exxxotica expo chatting with porn stars, testing futuristic sex toys, and hoarding freebies is a lot like making love to yourself on a cheap leopard-print bedspread. And this official afterparty is the post-coital cigarette.

Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL

Use Current Location

Related Locations

miles
Miami Beach Convention Center

1901 Convention Center Drive
Miami Beach, FL 33139

305-673-7311

www.miamibeachconvention.com

miles
King of Diamonds

17800 NE 5th Ave.
Miami, FL 33162

305-999-9500

miles
SoBe Live - Closed

1203 Washington Ave.
Miami Beach, FL 33139

305-725-3353

www.sobelivesouthbeach.com

miles
Club Madonna

1527 Washington Ave.
Miami Beach, FL 33139

305-534-2000

www.clubmadonna.com

miles
Trio on The Bay

1601 79th St. Causeway
Miami Beach, FL 33141

305-866-1234

www.triosonthebay.com

miles
Chalk Ping Pong & Billiards Lounge - Closed

1234 Washington Ave.
Miami Beach, FL 33139

305-532-8662

www.chalkmiami.com

miles
Maxine's Bistro and Bar

1756 Collins Ave.
Miami Beach, FL 33139

305-674-3527

www.catalinahotel.com/maxines

miles
The Catalina Hotel & Beach Club

1732 Collins Ave.
Miami Beach, FL 33139

305-674-1160

www.catalinahotel.com


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