Ask and you shall receive. So the old adage goes. And we have.
In April, we compiled a list of dead musicians who should be digitally resurrected à la Tupac hologram. Stuffed between Tiny Tim and Ol' Dirty Bastard like a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich, we added Elvis to the mix.
Lo and behold the folks behind Tupac's Coachella resurrection heard our prayers. They're teaming up with Core Media Group to "jointly produce a series of 'virtual' Elvis likenesses for a range of entertainment projects," according to the Hollywood Reporter.
Great. But we weren't talking about sex-symbol Elvis, we're specifically asking for Fat Elvis, the bloated King circa 1976, and these three memorable Elvis likenesses.
Das Presley
Elvis served in the military for two years, the bulk of which were spent overseas in peacetime Germany.
While serving abroad, the King developed a sweet tooth for amphetamines. According to Peter Hary Brown's book, Down at the End of Lonely Street: Life and Death of Elvis Presley, the drugs helped Elvis lose weight and gave him strength. Coinicidentally, they may have also enlarged his colon and killed him 20 years later.
In hologram form, Das Presley could snort a few Vyvanses and show off some of his killer karate moves. Hi-Ya!
Karate King
Elvis may have died a fat, fat man. But there was a time when the King could whoop some serious ass.
Like drugs, Elvis also learned about karate while serving overseas and earned his black belt in just two years. But the King didn't stop there; he kept training well into the '70s.
Eventually, he got fat and lost his roundhouse kick. Not in Karate King hologram form, though. As the ultimate rock 'n' roll warrior, Elvis would use his virtual stage time to train fans in martial arts.
Elvis Narc
Despite Presley's addiction to prescription pain medication, the King was an adamant supporter of the war on drugs.
In 1970, Elvis sent President Nixon a letter in an effort to help the administration undermine hippie drug culture and leftist propaganda.
"The drug culture, the hippie elements... do not consider me as their enemy... I can and will do more good if I were made a Federal Agent at Large..." he wrote.
"I have done an in-depth study of drug abuse and Communist brainwashing techniques, and I am right in the middle of the whole thing where I can and will do the most good."
Nixon and Elvis eventually met face-to-face, and the King was presented with a World War II pistol. The two yucked it up at the White House, but Elvis left the same way he walked in, a civilian.
As a hologram, Elvis Narc could scold neo-hippies for smoking pot at his "virtual" performance and talk about the dangers of barbiturates. Maybe digital Presley could rework the lyrics of some of his songs to reflect the potential consequences of drug abuse, like accidental overdoses or dying on the toilet.
Follow Crossfade on Facebook and Twitter @Crossfade_SFL.
