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Dolly Parton at Hard Rock Live October 18

Oh, Dolly! There's no tinier, bustier, more magnificent country singer than she. You can Shania Twain and Taylor Swift all night long. But nothing compares to those big Parton pearlies glowing between smiling red lips.

She is a freaking hero. Her quick wit, good manners, powerful look, and business savvy make her the Oprah of the Smoky Mountains. Or maybe Oprah is the Dolly of Chicago? Either way, both bitches are fierce, and Dolly is more fun.

Of course, Parton isn't just a bubbly personality with giant blond hair and huge breasts. She's a born performer and a Songwriters Hall of Fame member who has published something like 4,000 songs since moving to Nashville in 1964. And the queen of country music's reign stretches from the stage to film and television. She worked 9 to 5 in the '80s, made us laugh and cry in Steel Magnolias, and sang her heart out in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

As Dolly once quipped, "I hope people realize that there is a brain underneath the hair and a heart underneath the boobs."

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