Every Valentine's Day is exactly the same -- the candy, the flowers, the teddy bears, and some slutty lingerie.
Don't people ever get sick of spending a bunch of money on a bunch of stupid crap so some Hallmark execs get that big V-Day bonus? Or wonder just what the fuck sex is anyway? Why do we humans want/need it?
This Valentine's Day, you should finally break free of expensive candy and all manner of droll "romantic" rituals, shove a safety pin through your nose, fashion your pubic hair into liberty spikes, and give yourself a nice, hard go-round in the circle pit.
Maybe it's finally time to say, "Fuck Valentine's Day!"
Destroyio Records, Miami's perverse purveyors of knucklheaded pop-punk and feel-good-but-still-sneering power-pop, will be right there with you.
"People making out in public; girls wearing fuzzy boots in damn near 80-degree weather; pointlessly rampant consumerism ... I mean, after you break it down, is [Valentine's Day] really something to celebrate?" label honcho Fabio Destroyio asks.
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And you have to admit that he's got a point. What is up with all the fuzzy boots and making out? Didn't we just spend a whole bunch of fucking money on Xmas gifts? Is it seriously time to break the bank out of tradition again?
Now we're not sure how Fabio will be commemorating the life and work of Saint Valentine on February 14. But we know exactly what he'll be doing a few days later at Destroyio's inaugural anti-Valentine's Day show -- slammin', spittin', drinkin', stinkin', and never thinkin' with no kissin'. Just how we like it.
Destroyio Records' Fuck Valentine's Day Showcase with Fortitude, Enough!, To Be Hated, Vice City Rockers, The Can't Stand Ya's, Blood In The Bathroom, and D.J. Skidmark. Friday, February 17. Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami. The show starts at 9 p.m. Call 305-757-1807 or visit churchillspub.com.