Daft Punk's Durex Condoms: A Five-Step Guide to "Get Lucky"
Let's take a little journey into the mind of the modern woman. Is she up all night to the sun just for good fun? Or is that just what she'll tell you because she doesn't want to seem too easy?
Trust us, when she's with her girls and her gay friends, all she's talking about is getting some. So when you hit the dance floor, you've got to be ready to "Get Lucky." And thankfully, Daft Punk and Durex have just the funky thing to handle your gushy stuff.
Unfortunately, Daft Punk condoms are currently available only to famous DJs for promotional reasons, which sucks for the rest of us. So we need a five-step guide to "Get Lucky."
Find the Right Girl
Getting lucky doesn't mean boinking the bottom feeder. Getting lucky means you landed the hottest and wittiest girl in the club, or at least in the top five. When shooting your load, make sure you shoot for the moon.
Buy Her One Drink
Now that you've raised the bar, it's time to raise a cup to the stars. But don't go buying this great girl a million drinks till she's sloppy and turns into a monster. Buying her one drink also ensures that, should she change her mind, she's not running away with all your money. Women will take your money and run, and they won't even feel bad about it.
Have the Right Moves
A man who can dance is a man who can have any lady he wants. Sorry, white boy, that one awkward move you do isn't cutting it. Grinding on her ass while she jiggles isn't dancing either. It's hottest when you know how to move with her body, kind of touching but kind of not. So figure it out. Take a class. Watch a YouTube video. You're ready.
Put on the Right Music
Let the music in tonight; it will totally seal your deal, but you have to make sure your music has some life in it. Sure, you could just bone to whatever, but it's better when you're doin' it right. Put that real sexy and grown stuff on; you'll feel a difference on contact.
Fuck it. Find Diplo, Steal His Daft Punk Condoms
If you only had a Daft Punk condom, it would be so easy. You could just whip that thing out at parties, and all the hot girls are going to want to do you just to see what it's like! Smooth move, Durex.
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