We can't put our best Churchill's Pub stories in print because we don't wanna get our favorite Little Haiti hangout shut down.
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However, in anticipation of Miami's only true rock 'n' roll dive celebrating its 33rd anniversary, we at New Times will gladly share a family-friendly tale or two. Like that time in the early '90s when Chickenhead vocalist Chuck Loose set himself ablaze onstage! OK, we didn't see it with our own bloodshot eyes. But we know it happened because of the club's rich legacy, as anthologized by its many self-appointed historians, archivists, and authorities. And YouTube.
But you wanna know why everybody loves Churchill's? Because the Pub loves everybody! Come get mad lovey-dovey with the Jacuzzi Boys (this era's Charlie Pickett?), Crucial Taunt (a nasty rock band featuring members from other Churchill's crews such as Curious Hair, Snakehole, and Dyslexic Postcards), and bunch of other hippies, crust punx, guidos, dealers, wheelers, creepers, weirdos, mutant carnies, and everyone else who has called this beautiful dump home for 32 years and counting.
Churchill's Pub 33rd Anniversary Party
Churchill's Pub 33rd Anniversary Party, With Jacuzzi Boys, New Coke, the Cost, and Crucial Taunt. 9 p.m. Saturday, September 1, at Churchill's Pub, 5501 NE Second Ave., Miami; 305-757-1807; churchillspub.com. Cover costs $5.