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Chris Brown's Woman-Beating Warning Label and Ten New Releases That Need Disclaimers

While nobody in the United States has enough testicular fortitude to tell Chris Brown, "Hey, fuck you for beating up Rihanna back in 2009!," the United Kingdom is a little less afraid of confrontation.

Apparently, activists swarmed English music retailer HMV and labeled every single copy of Brown's latest album, Fortune, with stickers reading, "Warning, Do Not Buy This Album! This Man Beats Women."

Of course, the world is a vampire, and stickers declaring Breezy to be a perpetrator of domestic violence seemed to have, uh, helped the singer move units.

Despite the tactic's failure to damage sales of the record, this vigilant pop culture activism got us thinking about some other new releases that could definitely benefit from a warning label or two.

Artist: R. Kelly

Album: Write Me Back

Release: June 26

Warning: "Write him back! Or else he gonna pee on you!"

Artist: Deadmau5

Album: >album title goes here

Release: September 25

Warning: "These MP3s may spontaneously burst into electro whining."

Artist: No Doubt

Album: Push and Shove

Release: September 25

Warning: "Manufacturer not responsible for any contact with third-wave ska that may result from listening to this album."

Artist: Papa Roach

Album: The Connection

Release: October 2

Warning: "Band has yet to make The Connection that they have been completely irrellevant for over a decade."

Artist: Brandy

Album: Two Eleven

Release: October 16

Warning: "Not intended for use as a substitute for Moesha, The Parkers, or any other cancelled UPN programming."

Artist: Further Seems Forever

Album: Penny Black

Release: October 23

Warning: "Do no consume if allergic to emo. May include ingredients used in Dashboard Confessional."

Artist: Neil Young & Crazy Horse

Album: Psychedelic Pill

Release: October 30

Warning: "Neither this album nor its creators have a single fuck to give."

Artist: Aerosmith

Album: Music From Another Dimension

Release: November 6

Warning: "Handle with care. Music may rip open time-space contiuum and result in assorted mutations such as accelerated aging or the cloven hooves of foundlings."

Artist: 50 Cent

Album: Street King Immortal

Release Date: November 13

Warning: "Explosive diarrhea: Resistance is futile."

Artist: The Rolling Stones

Album: GRRR!

Release: November 13

Warning: "Anyone with an erection lasting more than four hours needs medical assistance immediately, because of the risk of tissue damage which could cause permanent loss of potency."

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