Wanna star in a faux snuff flick?
Well, if you've been dying to die on film (or commit some kind of bloody crime in front of the camera), this might be your big break 'cause local psych-rock creeps Lil Daggers are currently seeking one girl and one guy for a supersecretive music video about murder.
But how does an eager yet inexperienced actor get the gig?
It's easy. The qualifications are lax and expectations are low. According to Daggers guitar guy Jacob Israel, all candidates "should possess sex, and the ability to semi-act" as well as proficiency in Gmail, Hotmail, or Yahoo Mail. "Basically, anyone who can send an email will probably get the non-paying job," he says.
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Successful candidates will only be "asked to either kill someone, or be killed," Israel explains. And they will work with director Michael Ruiz and Daggers singer Johnny Saraiva to achieve a convincing filmic depiction of violent death.
Beyond those meager details, this project is fucking secret.
Email your application to email@example.com.